It's about the Journey

I was reading on this last night http://http//joy2meu.com/Fear.html and got into Thom's pages--and he really had very good thoughts on codependency and the power of healing. He's a therapist, and has written a lot on these subjects. I learned so much in the small time I read, and I can't wait to go back and read more when I'm not half asleep. Below is something I learned from his insight.

Healing is not about the destination "being healed", it's about the journey of healing. It's the process that teaches us so much. We need to learn to live in the present--not the past, and not the future. Society teaches us to think, I'll just be happy when.... What about right now, don't focus on the past, don't focus on the future, but appreciate what we are going through right at this moment. We are right where we need to be!!!

I've been on this sugar binge lately and I'm wondering if it's "emotional eating" or hormones or what. I'm going tomorrow to find out and get some help getting off sugar. While reading this and thinking about my sugar issue, I began to link the two; people with addictive personalities are feeling an emptiness in their soul. They look to fill this emptiness with something--typically we reach outward looking to relationships, alcohol, drugs, people and even food.

This reminds me of the the Sex and the City episode where Miranda gives up Sex and replaces it with chocolate. I just saw that episode a couple of weeks ago--and really laughed when she kept going back for MORE cake, and MORE cake and eventually ate the entire thing. That's me!!!!

I've not only given up sex, but I've also given up having a man in my life on a regular basis. I'm really adjusting well to life with no roller coasters, and I ENJOY being single. But, is it bad to want to share all of me with someone? Is it wrong to want to share our lives (my daughter and I) with someone? I have so much fun with her, I wish I had someone to laugh with, and share these times with, and cherish every moment. Is that wrong? But, I need to appreciate the NOW. I have my alone time with her now for a reason. She doesn't have to share me with anyone and vise versa. We are right where we need to be.

I'm a mom and much like Miranda I've replaced the man, and the alcohol with sugar--and any other food that's not good for me. I read last night, that usually people who are missing something in their soul look outwardly to fill that spot. I'm realizing now though, that in my journey I'm going to 300 lbs if I don't replace the food with someone that'll actually fill that emptiness in my soul (with zero calories). I cannot do it with people (although friends are good to have, and help us though our journey), I cannot do it with alcohol, or material, or food. I need to really search within myself to find out what it is that's causing me to feel discontent, and find a way to create harmony within my entire being.

Discontent
1. Court coming up for visitation
2. P in my life. Uncertainty is scary
3. Money (just until I get my emergency fund built up)
4. Work issues

The next post will involve bringing harmony to my life in spite of these issues. I will need a plan for these issues also, and if I'm integrating the Law of Attraction, they'll need to be all about what I would like to see happen.

Here's my daily quote from Abraham-Hicks
There is no risk for you. When you come to understand the true nature of Well-being in which you have come forth--then you can relax and begin to enjoy this magnificent adventure which is your creative life experience. We are not here to guide the specifics of that which you choose. You get to choose that, and you can't get it wrong. We are here to assist you--only to assist you--in finding vibrational harmony with your desire; knowing that when you find vibrational harmony with your desire, you are, in this moment, a joyful Being. And that is our dominant wish for you

Day 2 Snow Canyon/Letting Love In

Now if I only knew how to mediate...

Today we hiked. This photo is at Snow Canyon--a State Park just outside of the City. Yesterday we hiked there, and I thought what a great place to just come and lay on a rock and "reflect"...I think it would be a great place to meditate also--maybe before my next trip I will learn. Next trip? Will there be a next trip?

This morning we went to Starbucks for coffee where I met P's friends that he has coffee with every Sunday morning. Most of which are runners and one 90 year old lady who is a riot! One lady even offered to let me use her stroller! Two of the ladies offered to babysit, so that's how I got away today for a short hike by myself. I actually took the same trail today as we did yesterday. Talk about a creature of habit! I wanted to run this trail and I didn't want to take a chance of getting lost, especially since I had already burned up over an hour of my two hours of "free time". Thank God P had already told me not to worry if I was running late, he would take care of getting my little girl from the babsitter. So, once I got there, I ran. I felt light on my feet after hiking w/ a 25 pound child on my back earlier that day and the previous day. I felt like I was bouncing up over rocks and had endless energy. What a great place to be!!!

Tomorrow, it's off to Zion National Park--I hear the hiking is spectacular there!

B.T.W--things are going very well with P. It's amazing sometimes how EASY it is to be around him. We are just on the same page in some areas--the important areas. He is amazing with my daughter and just a pleasure to be with. He also understands the need for "alone" time--so that makes it very easy to get away to just think. I think it's all very healthy.

My reading today from Until Today was pretty on track today too. Not that I'm saying it's love...just entertaining the idea of letting love in...

I will know love when I realize...the goodness of love is it's presence!

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The voice of love is always calling out to you. It is whispering gently into your heart, reminding you, "I am here for you! I love you just as you are!" Love offers you everything you need and desire. Love wants to give those things and more because love recognizes the jewl that you are. Do you recognize the jewel that love is and offers?

Love wants to hold you, comfort and lift you. Love knows you! It knows what you have to offer life. More important, you don't have to work to get love! The only work love requires of you is the work you must do on yourself. Work on your heart, your mind, your behavior, your false notions about love that have caused the pain, confusions and despair you believe have something to do with love. While you are working on yourself, love wants you to beware! Keep your eyes open because there are many things masquerading as love that are not at all loving.

Love will not leave you, nor will it ever dishonor you. Love will not rush you. Love will not come to take anything from you. Love gives to you! Love protects you! Love is the voice of God whispering to you from within yourself. The voice of love tells you that God loves you right now! No matter where you are or what you have done. The voice of love is asking you to tell love where you hurt, tell love why you hurt, tell love how you got hurt. Love wants you to know that it doesn't matter who hurt you, why they hurt you or how long you have been hurting. Love wants you to know that just a little bit of God will heal you!

Until today you may not have realized that the voice of love is God's voice calling out to you. You may have been so busy trying to find love that you were not available to hear its call. Just for today, listen closely for the voice of love. Be diligent in remembering that love is always available to care for you and heal whatever is ailing you.

Today I am devoted to identifying the voice of love when it speaks to me!

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Oh, and by the way--it was 60 degrees here today!!!!