Visitation--the Update

This past week there was a hearing at the court for visitation with my daughter and her father. Some rules were put in place, and they were the rules I've made from the beginning.

1. No alcohol to be consumed by anyone in the presence of her. The referee agreed with me--her father should be able to control the environment his daughter is in. So, not only can he not drink in front of her, or before having her, but, nobody is allow to drink in her presence.
2. He can see her for 4 hours on Saturday and for 3 hours on Wednesday
3. No girlfriend around when he has visitation with her. The will eliminate the chance of this little girl having to witness verbal and physical abuse.

These are all things I wanted to see happen from the beginning of our separation. I have hope in the court system. So far, this has shown me they really are looking out for the best interest of the child. These rules will remain until the hearing in a few months, or we go to mediation and agree on our own plan through the friend of the court.

Also, I got a letter from the Friend of the Court yesterday and his child support was set. They came up with a number much higher than I had. If he had only cooperated with me in the beginning, it could have saved all of this formality. I am comfortable with this formality. This has helped me to see that I was NOT asking too much. I was not asking too much in the area of support or what I feel is a safe and healthy environment for my daughter.

Thank you God--the night before court I had a sense of peace. This was the same calmness I had the night before I went to court for the abuse. It was a feeling that everything was going to be alright. I keep thinking about the Serenity prayer. .God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I feel my Higher Power came through for me and has helped me to grow in the process. Thank you God!

Re-discovering Serenity

I went to an Al-Anon meeting tonight. The topic was focusing on ourselves.

This was a good topic for me. I have gotten better at focusing on myself and learning to take care of myself. It takes effort, and we sometimes forget, but it is sooooo essential! My friend in Utah needs X amount of time per day to read, meditate and reflect. This seems a little strange to me, but after spending a week there, and scheduling our "alone time" into our days, I could see how powerful that time is!

P purchased two spa certificates for me. This could've possibly been one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me. Because I have a hard time scheduling this kind of time for myself, I struggled at fitting these appointments into my busy schedule. There was sooo much I wanted to do and so many places I wanted to be exploring and just not enough hours.

The night before I left, I scheduled a stone massage. It was heavenly! After my massage, I went into a sitting room in my white spa robe, white slippers and spice tea to relax for 1/2 hr. I grabbed a "faith and spirituality" magazine and laid back in the chair to enjoy the moment. At that point, I felt it. PEACE...SERENITY....HOPE....LOVE....I felt completely relaxed and open and my mind was clear. This was a feeling I vaguely recognized; I had not felt this in so long. I promised myself that evening to take care of myself, and take time to appreciate stillness; take the time just to breath so I can experience serenity again.