Daily Quotation
There is a big mix out there, and there's lots of different things going on, and there is not one way that was intended to be the right way. Just like there's not one color or one flower or one vegetable or one fingerprint. There is not one that is to be the right one over all others. The variety is what fosters the creativity. And so you say, "Okay, I accept that there's lots of variety, but I don't like to eat cucumbers." Don't eat cucumbers. But don't ask them to be eliminated and don't condemn those who eat them. Don't stand on corners waving signs trying to outlaw the things that you don't like. Don't ruin your life by pushing against. Instead, say, "I choose this instead. This does please me. --- Abraham http://abraham-hicks.com/
I struggled with this tonight. What is it about us that makes our "pictures" gospel? And, what is it about stretching our hearts that makes us uneasy? This is definately a feeling and fear that I need to explore and work tbrough. Earlier, in a conversation with a man who I am getting attached to, plans were made clear--and it wasn't how I had pictured it in my head... him and his plans are not like anything or anyone I have ever experienced. He may be a little territorial over his own space. He's very independent and likes his own space. Why does this scare me?
Let me think out loud here. He's had his own space since who knows when. Will this ever change? Why should it change? Because I am not sure I'm comfortable with how different this is from what I've known, seen, lived? Who am I to say it's right or not right. All I"m saying is that it's unfamiliarity makes me uneasy.
I'm not sure why someone's independence scares me a little. I am confident that this person is truely healthy--so his independence is essential to HIS well being as well as MY well being. Most of the relationships I have only been a part of have been w/ men much needier. I need to just focus on all of the good things and not pick apart what makes me uncomfortable because I think this time--the uncomfortableness is MY issue. This isn't his problem, this is mine. I will have a wonderful time, we will have a wonderful time and because time is so limited, I cannot waste it with negative feelings about what makes me uncomfortable.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Fairy Tales Do Exist
Below is an email I recieved from a friend talking about love and relationships.....maybe we just need to throw away the picture we have in our minds or maybe we need to KEEP the picture and just broaden our view... either way, we know we need to focus on what we want rather than what we don't want; we also need to quit imagining a "fairy tale" because that's just not realistic.
...It really hit me, what you said about aligning your vibration with what you want instead of what you don't want. I think I spend so much time identifying what hits me wrong or feels "off" that that tends to be what I mostly see. And it can take at least a day of being together for my focus to shift to how fabulous and loving he is...
I think many times, we are afraid that when a person comes into our life--if they don't fit that picture EXACTLY as it is in our head, then, maybe they're not the one, and maybe we're selling ourselves short. Maybe we're selling ourselves short because there is 1 or 2 small things that don't match our tiny little picture of what the "fairy tale" should look like.
I sure know what you mean about fear that the experience won't be "exactly" like the picture you have in your head. When it doesn't conform perfectly to the picture in our heads--is that a sure clue that it isn't the right thing? Or is it that our pictures aren't broad enough to make room for the "real" thing that includes loving, decent, warm, vulnerable, flawed, partners who challenge us to stretch our hearts further...accept differences...and cherish the perfect imperfect reality?
Daily Quotation
When you're vibrating purely, you get only what's a match to that. It's your ambivalence: "I like that but I don't like that... I like that but I don't like that..." that keeps what you like and what you don't like coming at you all the time. You don't have to "turn the other cheek" when you are in vibrational harmony only with what you want. Then, only what you want comes. --- Abraham
...It really hit me, what you said about aligning your vibration with what you want instead of what you don't want. I think I spend so much time identifying what hits me wrong or feels "off" that that tends to be what I mostly see. And it can take at least a day of being together for my focus to shift to how fabulous and loving he is...
I think many times, we are afraid that when a person comes into our life--if they don't fit that picture EXACTLY as it is in our head, then, maybe they're not the one, and maybe we're selling ourselves short. Maybe we're selling ourselves short because there is 1 or 2 small things that don't match our tiny little picture of what the "fairy tale" should look like.
I sure know what you mean about fear that the experience won't be "exactly" like the picture you have in your head. When it doesn't conform perfectly to the picture in our heads--is that a sure clue that it isn't the right thing? Or is it that our pictures aren't broad enough to make room for the "real" thing that includes loving, decent, warm, vulnerable, flawed, partners who challenge us to stretch our hearts further...accept differences...and cherish the perfect imperfect reality?
...the perfect, imperfect reality. I like that. I also like the idea that maybe our pictures aren't broad enough to make room for the "real" thing, because I haven't completely identified what I would like to find in the "real" thing.
Once, someone asked me what I was looking for in a relationship. What I was looking for was not on the tip of my tongue --however, what I was NOT looking for was on the tip of my tongue. What I was not looking for was exactly what I kept attracting. This is what I'm beginning to understand about energy. In the past, I was so busy focusing on what I didn't want, rather than what I did want. It's now time to focus on what I would like in my life and forget about what I would not like. Now that the picture has broadened, and I have evolved, I (and only I) have the power to make my "fairy tale" come true.
This quote applies from http://www.Abraham-Hicks.comDaily Quotation
When you're vibrating purely, you get only what's a match to that. It's your ambivalence: "I like that but I don't like that... I like that but I don't like that..." that keeps what you like and what you don't like coming at you all the time. You don't have to "turn the other cheek" when you are in vibrational harmony only with what you want. Then, only what you want comes. --- Abraham
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Learning Detachment
The topic for tonight's Al-anon meeting was Detachment. The following is the reading I read from "Courage to Change" pg. 199.
Two of those closest to me were newly-recovering alcoholics. During the drinking years, I had become so enmeshed with them and their self destructive behavior that I lost sight of the idea that I could be happy even if they were depressed; I could live a serene life even if they went back to drinking. The turning point in my Al-Anon recovery came when someone said to me, "You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not."
From that day on I tried to keep in mind that I had my own life and my own destiny. Once I began to separate my welfare from that of the alcoholics, I found it was easier to detach from the decisions they made about how and where, and when and with whom to conduct their lives. Because my fate--my very life--was no longer tied directly to theirs, I was able to accept them for who they were and to listen to their ideas and concerns without trying to exercise control. Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control--over my own life.
Todays Reminder--My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself today.
This reading spoke to me. I thought I was detached the day I pushed-no, shoved him out of my life for good. I am speaking about the father of my child who swept me off my feet and then just about destroyed me. "...I had become so enmeshed with them (him and his family and friends) and their self-destructive behavior that I lost sight of the idea that I could be happy...that I could live a serene life...You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not...I had my own life and my own destiny...separate my welfare from that of the alcoholics, easier to detach from the decisions they made about how and where, and when and with whom to conduct their lives...my fate--my very life--was no longer tied directly to theirs, ...Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control--over my own life...."
I look back now, and see how my perception of everything in life had changed during my life with the alcoholic. I sunk deeper and deeper into the path of self destruction from the emotional abuse of living with an alcoholic. I HAD become so enmeshed with them and their unhealthy ways I had lost sight of the idea that I could be happy. I was so wrapped up in controlling the very thing I had no control over. He never did stop drinking but, I now realize that my life can be serene and that I can make it whether the alcoholic does or not. I have my own life and my own destiny. It took me leaving him to detach and to separate my welfare from that of the alcoholic. I no longer have to worry about how and where, and when and with whom he is living his life. I am able to separate and realize that my fate--my very life--is no longer directly tied to his. Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control--over my own life.
I don't know that I am able to detach with love. I don't know at what point I will be able to. Right now, the whole "with love" part is very scary to me. I'm not ready to let down that wall. I feel like by letting down that wall--he will have some power over me. I will NEVER give him that power back. I have regained power over my life and will live a life filled with love-- without the need to control. Detachment is good. I realize that by reacting to him and his unhealthiness gives him power. This past weekend I saw a message on a church message board. "He who angers you controls you".
Today's Reminder is good. My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself today. I can feel that! I mean it with my whole heart! What a great feeling that is! That is growth!
I'd like to post one more quote from the Abraham-Hicks.com site from 1/27/08.
"These beings, that are acting out in those ways that you find so awful, are tormented and suffering in ways that you will not understand. Their horrible acts are extensions of that pain. We also have to say to you -- no one who is not a vibrational match to that could be their victim."--- Abraham
It's all about creating what I want in life, upon doing so, the alcoholic will have no power over me.
Two of those closest to me were newly-recovering alcoholics. During the drinking years, I had become so enmeshed with them and their self destructive behavior that I lost sight of the idea that I could be happy even if they were depressed; I could live a serene life even if they went back to drinking. The turning point in my Al-Anon recovery came when someone said to me, "You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not."
From that day on I tried to keep in mind that I had my own life and my own destiny. Once I began to separate my welfare from that of the alcoholics, I found it was easier to detach from the decisions they made about how and where, and when and with whom to conduct their lives. Because my fate--my very life--was no longer tied directly to theirs, I was able to accept them for who they were and to listen to their ideas and concerns without trying to exercise control. Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control--over my own life.
Todays Reminder--My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself today.
This reading spoke to me. I thought I was detached the day I pushed-no, shoved him out of my life for good. I am speaking about the father of my child who swept me off my feet and then just about destroyed me. "...I had become so enmeshed with them (him and his family and friends) and their self-destructive behavior that I lost sight of the idea that I could be happy...that I could live a serene life...You'll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not...I had my own life and my own destiny...separate my welfare from that of the alcoholics, easier to detach from the decisions they made about how and where, and when and with whom to conduct their lives...my fate--my very life--was no longer tied directly to theirs, ...Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control--over my own life...."
I look back now, and see how my perception of everything in life had changed during my life with the alcoholic. I sunk deeper and deeper into the path of self destruction from the emotional abuse of living with an alcoholic. I HAD become so enmeshed with them and their unhealthy ways I had lost sight of the idea that I could be happy. I was so wrapped up in controlling the very thing I had no control over. He never did stop drinking but, I now realize that my life can be serene and that I can make it whether the alcoholic does or not. I have my own life and my own destiny. It took me leaving him to detach and to separate my welfare from that of the alcoholic. I no longer have to worry about how and where, and when and with whom he is living his life. I am able to separate and realize that my fate--my very life--is no longer directly tied to his. Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control--over my own life.
I don't know that I am able to detach with love. I don't know at what point I will be able to. Right now, the whole "with love" part is very scary to me. I'm not ready to let down that wall. I feel like by letting down that wall--he will have some power over me. I will NEVER give him that power back. I have regained power over my life and will live a life filled with love-- without the need to control. Detachment is good. I realize that by reacting to him and his unhealthiness gives him power. This past weekend I saw a message on a church message board. "He who angers you controls you".
Today's Reminder is good. My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself today. I can feel that! I mean it with my whole heart! What a great feeling that is! That is growth!
I'd like to post one more quote from the Abraham-Hicks.com site from 1/27/08.
"These beings, that are acting out in those ways that you find so awful, are tormented and suffering in ways that you will not understand. Their horrible acts are extensions of that pain. We also have to say to you -- no one who is not a vibrational match to that could be their victim."--- Abraham
It's all about creating what I want in life, upon doing so, the alcoholic will have no power over me.
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