2 cups broccoli
2 TBS oil
1 onion minced
2 cloves garlic minced
1 tsp ginger
1 1/2 tsp curry powder
2 cups chickpeas
1/2 cup vegetable stock
1 cup silken tofu, drained
1/4 cup soy milk
2 TBS lemon juice
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 lb pasta, cooked and drained
Steam broccoli about 5 min and run under cold water to stop cooking and set aside. Cook onion in either oil or water. Add garlic, ginger and curry powder and cook 2 minutes longer stirring occasionally. Add the chick-peas and cook for 2 minutes, then stir in stock and bring to a boil, cooking until liquid is reduced in half. Remove from heat. In a small bowl combine the tofu, soy milk, lemon juice, salt and cayenne until well blended. Slowly whisk into the chick-pea mixture. Add the broccoli and stir to combine. Toss the hot cooked pasta with the chick-pea sauce in a serving bowl and serve.
You may even add chopped spinach for added nutrition.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Vegan Eggplant Parmesan
Vegan Recipes - Entrees
Baked Eggplant
Ingredients:
Olive Oil
1/2 cut minced Onion
1 tsp minced garlic
1 jar Mur Glen Spaghetti Sauce
1 TBS basil
salt and pepper
1 1/2 lbs eggplant
1 cup bread crumbs
2 cups tofu drained and crumbled
2 TBS minced fresh parsley
1/4 cup soy Parmesan or mozzarella (optional)
Preheat the broiler. Heat 1 TBS of oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and cook 5 minutes or until softened. Add garlic and cook 2 minutes longer. Add sauce, basil, salt and pepper. Stir well and bring to a boil. Simmer for about 15 minutes.
Slice the eggplant very thinly. Dip the slices into rice milk and coat with breadcrumbs. Place in broiler on baking sheet for about 2 minutes flipping once. Turn oven down to 350 degrees.
In a bowl, combine the tofu, parsley and salt and pepper. Mix well. Arrange half of the eggplant slices in a lightly oiled baking dish, top with half of the tofu mixture, and spread half of the tomato sauce on the tofu mixture. Repeat the layers.
Directions: Slice one of the eggplants and use it to cover completely the bottom of an oiled baking dish. Sprinkle it with salt. Mix the bread crumbs with the sugar in a small bowl. Sprinkle a little of the bread crumb mixture over the eggplant in the baking dish. For the filling, put all the vegetables in a medium-sized bowl and mix with all the seasonings, plus the olives and some of the bread crumbs, reserving about 1/4 cup of the bread crumbs to use them later. Spread this mixture on top of the sliced eggplant. Slice the other eggplant and use to cover the filling.
Sprinkle the remaining bread crumbs over the top layer of eggplant. Blend the cashews and soy milk together in a blender. Add salt to taste. Pour into the baking dish, covering the top layer of eggplant. Bake at 375º F about 30 minutes or until it makes a crust.
Baked Eggplant
Ingredients:
Olive Oil
1/2 cut minced Onion
1 tsp minced garlic
1 jar Mur Glen Spaghetti Sauce
1 TBS basil
salt and pepper
1 1/2 lbs eggplant
1 cup bread crumbs
2 cups tofu drained and crumbled
2 TBS minced fresh parsley
1/4 cup soy Parmesan or mozzarella (optional)
Preheat the broiler. Heat 1 TBS of oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and cook 5 minutes or until softened. Add garlic and cook 2 minutes longer. Add sauce, basil, salt and pepper. Stir well and bring to a boil. Simmer for about 15 minutes.
Slice the eggplant very thinly. Dip the slices into rice milk and coat with breadcrumbs. Place in broiler on baking sheet for about 2 minutes flipping once. Turn oven down to 350 degrees.
In a bowl, combine the tofu, parsley and salt and pepper. Mix well. Arrange half of the eggplant slices in a lightly oiled baking dish, top with half of the tofu mixture, and spread half of the tomato sauce on the tofu mixture. Repeat the layers.
Directions: Slice one of the eggplants and use it to cover completely the bottom of an oiled baking dish. Sprinkle it with salt. Mix the bread crumbs with the sugar in a small bowl. Sprinkle a little of the bread crumb mixture over the eggplant in the baking dish. For the filling, put all the vegetables in a medium-sized bowl and mix with all the seasonings, plus the olives and some of the bread crumbs, reserving about 1/4 cup of the bread crumbs to use them later. Spread this mixture on top of the sliced eggplant. Slice the other eggplant and use to cover the filling.
Sprinkle the remaining bread crumbs over the top layer of eggplant. Blend the cashews and soy milk together in a blender. Add salt to taste. Pour into the baking dish, covering the top layer of eggplant. Bake at 375º F about 30 minutes or until it makes a crust.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Pasteli
Thanks Nancy, this recipe looks great! I haven't tried it yet.
Pasteli: Sesame Honey Candy
By Nancy Gaifyllia, About.com http://greekfood.about.com/od/candy/r/softses_pasteli.htm
See More About:
candy recipes
ancient greek recipes
cooking with sesame seeds
Pasteli: Sugar-Free Sesame Honey Candy
In Greek: παστέλι, pronounced pah-STEH-lee
The version of pasteli most commonly sold at the market is generally very hard. It's the sugar in the recipe that makes it hard. This classic version is sugar-free and creates a chewy texture with the fabulous tastes of sesame seeds and honey.
Tip: The quality and taste of the honey will have an effect on the final product. Try this recipe with organic honey of your preference (thyme, wildflower, fir, pine, chestnut, etc.).
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Ingredients:
1 1/3 cups of honey
3 cups of hulled white sesame seeds
1 strip of lemon peel (about 1/4 x 1 inch) (optional, see note)
Preparation:
Note: If desired, add the lemon peel to give the pasteli a light hint of lemon.
In a saucepan, bring honey and lemon peel to a boil. Add sesame seeds stirring continuously and continue to cook while stirring to mix completely and thoroughly. When the seeds are fully mixed in and the mixture has boiled again, remove from heat. Remove and discard lemon peel.
Spread a piece of baking parchment on a cool work surface and spread out the hot mixture thinly and evenly, on the paper (about 1/4 inch high).
When the pasteli cools to room temperature, refrigerate, as is, on the parchment paper (it doesn't need to be covered). Chill for at least 2-3 hours.
With a kitchen shears, cut the pasteli into small pieces, together with the parchment paper on the bottom, and serve.
To eat, peel off the parchment paper.
Store in the refrigerator.
Serving suggestions: Pasteli can be eaten as a candy at any time, as an energy booster, and it goes wonderfully well as an accompaniment to tea. Because it is very sweet, cut in small pieces. Those with a sweet tooth can always select several!
To increase or decrease quantity: The recipe calls for equal parts by weight of sesame seeds and honey.
1 pound of honey (16 ounces) = approximately 1 1/3 cups
1 pound of sesame seeds = approximately 3 cups
Note about sesame seeds: Sesame seeds can be quite expensive, especially when purchased in small quantities. Look for sources to buy in bulk.
Pasteli: Sesame Honey Candy
By Nancy Gaifyllia, About.com http://greekfood.about.com/od/candy/r/softses_pasteli.htm
See More About:
candy recipes
ancient greek recipes
cooking with sesame seeds
Pasteli: Sugar-Free Sesame Honey Candy
In Greek: παστέλι, pronounced pah-STEH-lee
The version of pasteli most commonly sold at the market is generally very hard. It's the sugar in the recipe that makes it hard. This classic version is sugar-free and creates a chewy texture with the fabulous tastes of sesame seeds and honey.
Tip: The quality and taste of the honey will have an effect on the final product. Try this recipe with organic honey of your preference (thyme, wildflower, fir, pine, chestnut, etc.).
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Ingredients:
1 1/3 cups of honey
3 cups of hulled white sesame seeds
1 strip of lemon peel (about 1/4 x 1 inch) (optional, see note)
Preparation:
Note: If desired, add the lemon peel to give the pasteli a light hint of lemon.
In a saucepan, bring honey and lemon peel to a boil. Add sesame seeds stirring continuously and continue to cook while stirring to mix completely and thoroughly. When the seeds are fully mixed in and the mixture has boiled again, remove from heat. Remove and discard lemon peel.
Spread a piece of baking parchment on a cool work surface and spread out the hot mixture thinly and evenly, on the paper (about 1/4 inch high).
When the pasteli cools to room temperature, refrigerate, as is, on the parchment paper (it doesn't need to be covered). Chill for at least 2-3 hours.
With a kitchen shears, cut the pasteli into small pieces, together with the parchment paper on the bottom, and serve.
To eat, peel off the parchment paper.
Store in the refrigerator.
Serving suggestions: Pasteli can be eaten as a candy at any time, as an energy booster, and it goes wonderfully well as an accompaniment to tea. Because it is very sweet, cut in small pieces. Those with a sweet tooth can always select several!
To increase or decrease quantity: The recipe calls for equal parts by weight of sesame seeds and honey.
1 pound of honey (16 ounces) = approximately 1 1/3 cups
1 pound of sesame seeds = approximately 3 cups
Note about sesame seeds: Sesame seeds can be quite expensive, especially when purchased in small quantities. Look for sources to buy in bulk.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Vegan Pumpkin Pie
This is a GREAT website!!! She has tons of recipes! This is where I got the pumpkin pie recipe from...this turned out great, however, I maybe try an easier one next--or one without oil and/or sugar. Stay tuned.....
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a 9-inch glass pie plate. (Or not--I didn't)
In a food processor bowl add: (blender and worked fine)
1 14 or 15-oz can pumpkin
1 1/2 cups plain hemp milk
2 teaspoons bourbon vanilla (regular works fine)
2 tablespoons light olive oil
1 tablespoon Ener-G Egg Replacer ( 2 TBS of flax seeds ground in coffee grinder is replacement)
3/4 cup organic brown sugar
1/2 cup buckwheat flour
2 tablespoons tapioca starch/flour (I put 2 TBS of tapioca pudding in coffee grinder and added)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon xanthan gum (I used Arrowroot--but you may not even need w/ tapioca)
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon or pie spice
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
Cover and process until smooth and creamy. Stop and scrape the sides of the bowl, if necessary to incorporate all of the dry ingredients. Pour into the prepared pie plate and smooth evenly.
Bake in the center of a preheated oven for about an hour until done. The pie should be firm- but still give a little when lightly touched. The center should not be wet. It will fall a bit as it cools, like my Flour less Chocolate Cake recipe. Cool the pie on a wire rack completely. Cover and chill in the refrigerator until serving.
Makes 8 slices.
You can make this pie without a crust or with. It's not Gluten Free with a crust though. I put this pie in a Grape Nut's crust.
You just pour some grape nuts with enough Honey and/or Maple Syrup to make it sticky. Freeze, and pour pie into frozen crust. This allows you to pour the pie in without the cereal mixing into it. Bake until firm on 350.
Heart Healthy Scalloped Potatoes
Here it is everyone--I got this recipe from FatFreeVegan.com and it ROCKS!!!!
2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes (I used 8 medium)
water, to cover
Paprika or white pepper
Salt (optional)
Sauce ingredients:
1 1/4 cups water
1 cup plain soymilk (I used Rice Milk--and it was great!)
1/2 cup nutritional yeast
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (or fresh garlic is even better--I used 2 or 3 cloves in garlic press)
1 teaspoon onion powder
2 tablespoons raw cashew butter (tahini works just as well)
1 teaspoon white miso
Place a large pot, half-filled with water, to boil while you prepare the potatoes. Using a mandolin, food processor, or a very steady hand, slice the scrubbed potatoes into 1/4-inch thick slices. They need to be a uniform size, so a mandolin is preferred.
When the water is boiling, add the potato slices and make sure they are covered with water. If not, add just enough to cover. Boil for 5-8 minutes, just until barely tender. Be very careful--they go from raw to falling apart in seconds. You do not want them to fall apart!
As soon as the potatoes are tender, remove them from the heat, pour them into a colander to remove the water, and rinse them with cold water.
Preheat the oven to 400 F.
Prepare the sauce by blending the sauce ingredients together, either in a blender or with a hand blender, until smooth.Place the potato slices into an oiled casserole dish one layer at a time. Sprinkle each layer with a little salt and paprika or white pepper before adding the next layer. Stir the sauce, and pour it over all the potatoes. Sprinkle with paprika.
Bake at 400 F for 20 minutes, or until sauce has thickened throughout. Serve warm. (OR INSTEAD OF PUTTING IN THE OVEN, PUT IN SLOW COOKER FOR 4 HRS, I had to pour out the liquid and thicken it on the stove and pour back in; it was soooooo good!)
This sauce was so great, you could use it as a Vegan Alfredo sauce also. I can't say enough about it!!!
2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes (I used 8 medium)
water, to cover
Paprika or white pepper
Salt (optional)
Sauce ingredients:
1 1/4 cups water
1 cup plain soymilk (I used Rice Milk--and it was great!)
1/2 cup nutritional yeast
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (or fresh garlic is even better--I used 2 or 3 cloves in garlic press)
1 teaspoon onion powder
2 tablespoons raw cashew butter (tahini works just as well)
1 teaspoon white miso
Place a large pot, half-filled with water, to boil while you prepare the potatoes. Using a mandolin, food processor, or a very steady hand, slice the scrubbed potatoes into 1/4-inch thick slices. They need to be a uniform size, so a mandolin is preferred.
When the water is boiling, add the potato slices and make sure they are covered with water. If not, add just enough to cover. Boil for 5-8 minutes, just until barely tender. Be very careful--they go from raw to falling apart in seconds. You do not want them to fall apart!
As soon as the potatoes are tender, remove them from the heat, pour them into a colander to remove the water, and rinse them with cold water.
Preheat the oven to 400 F.
Prepare the sauce by blending the sauce ingredients together, either in a blender or with a hand blender, until smooth.Place the potato slices into an oiled casserole dish one layer at a time. Sprinkle each layer with a little salt and paprika or white pepper before adding the next layer. Stir the sauce, and pour it over all the potatoes. Sprinkle with paprika.
Bake at 400 F for 20 minutes, or until sauce has thickened throughout. Serve warm. (OR INSTEAD OF PUTTING IN THE OVEN, PUT IN SLOW COOKER FOR 4 HRS, I had to pour out the liquid and thicken it on the stove and pour back in; it was soooooo good!)
This sauce was so great, you could use it as a Vegan Alfredo sauce also. I can't say enough about it!!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Everything you need to know about feeding babies and toddlers
http://vegfamily.com/babies-and-toddlers/index.htm
Vegan Babies and ToddlersFrom breastfeeding to solids, and "ga-ga" to "Mommy, why does grandma eat animals?" we've got you covered. And there's a lot to know and prepare for. How do you raise a healthy, vegan baby and toddler?
Articles
10 Things You Don't Need When You Have a Baby by Michelle Kennedy Hogan
A Born Free Baby by Mary Finch
Are Vaccines Really Safe and Effective? by Jock Doubleday
Aromatherapy for Babies: Essential Oil or Snake Oil? by Stacie Jacobs
Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy by Katharina Bishop
Breastfeeding Your Vegan Baby by Erin Pavlina
Dealing with Dairy Allergies by Lucy Watkins
Five Reasons to Wear Your Baby By Michelle Kennedy
From Bashful to Brazen: The Indiscreet Breastfeeder's Manifesto by Sundae Horn
Flax Seed Oil: Putting it to Good Use by Doh Driver
Helping Daycare Centers Care For Your Vegan Child: One Mother's Story by Linda Driscoll
Homemade Baby Food: A Fresh Start to Healthy Eating by Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers
Introducing Solids: Feeding vegan babies by Erin Pavlina
Is Cloth Diapering Right For You? by Brenda Stokes
Mama's Own: How To Make Your Own Vegan Baby Products by Katharina Bishop
My World of Wearing by Heather Ethriedge
Natural Baby, Toxic World by Brita Belli
Nanny Shares and Vegan Living by Heather Strofe
Nourishing Your Independent Toddler by Cathe Olson
One Mother at a Time by Mary Eileen Finch
Physicians Issue New Prescription: Most Moms Should Breastfeed for at Least a Year by Mary Ann Romans
Positive Protesting with Children by Caity McCardell
Starting Solids by Cathe Olson
The Battle to Ban Toxic Toys by Brita Belli
The Talk by Jennifer Alyah
Vegan Toddler Food Guide by Brenda Davis, R.D. and Vesanto Melina M.S., R.D.
Veganism and Circumcision by Jennifer L. Downing
Vegetarian Diets -- Position of ADA
Vegetarian to Vegan: 101 reasons not to feed your child dairy by Dr. Linda Folden Palmer
Wearing Your Baby: The Basics by Kristina Deppe
Weight Gain in Vegan Toddlers by Brenda Davis, R.D.
What's So Terrible About Being Two? by Gary Direnfeld, MSW
Vegan Babies and ToddlersFrom breastfeeding to solids, and "ga-ga" to "Mommy, why does grandma eat animals?" we've got you covered. And there's a lot to know and prepare for. How do you raise a healthy, vegan baby and toddler?
Articles
10 Things You Don't Need When You Have a Baby by Michelle Kennedy Hogan
A Born Free Baby by Mary Finch
Are Vaccines Really Safe and Effective? by Jock Doubleday
Aromatherapy for Babies: Essential Oil or Snake Oil? by Stacie Jacobs
Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy by Katharina Bishop
Breastfeeding Your Vegan Baby by Erin Pavlina
Dealing with Dairy Allergies by Lucy Watkins
Five Reasons to Wear Your Baby By Michelle Kennedy
From Bashful to Brazen: The Indiscreet Breastfeeder's Manifesto by Sundae Horn
Flax Seed Oil: Putting it to Good Use by Doh Driver
Helping Daycare Centers Care For Your Vegan Child: One Mother's Story by Linda Driscoll
Homemade Baby Food: A Fresh Start to Healthy Eating by Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers
Introducing Solids: Feeding vegan babies by Erin Pavlina
Is Cloth Diapering Right For You? by Brenda Stokes
Mama's Own: How To Make Your Own Vegan Baby Products by Katharina Bishop
My World of Wearing by Heather Ethriedge
Natural Baby, Toxic World by Brita Belli
Nanny Shares and Vegan Living by Heather Strofe
Nourishing Your Independent Toddler by Cathe Olson
One Mother at a Time by Mary Eileen Finch
Physicians Issue New Prescription: Most Moms Should Breastfeed for at Least a Year by Mary Ann Romans
Positive Protesting with Children by Caity McCardell
Starting Solids by Cathe Olson
The Battle to Ban Toxic Toys by Brita Belli
The Talk by Jennifer Alyah
Vegan Toddler Food Guide by Brenda Davis, R.D. and Vesanto Melina M.S., R.D.
Veganism and Circumcision by Jennifer L. Downing
Vegetarian Diets -- Position of ADA
Vegetarian to Vegan: 101 reasons not to feed your child dairy by Dr. Linda Folden Palmer
Wearing Your Baby: The Basics by Kristina Deppe
Weight Gain in Vegan Toddlers by Brenda Davis, R.D.
What's So Terrible About Being Two? by Gary Direnfeld, MSW
PLEASE READ!!!! and help your children before it's too late!!!
This is such amazing information!!! PLEASE READ!!!
http://www.drfuhrman.com/children/default.aspx
1-800-474-WELL (9355)
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Home > Children
Children's Health IssuesDisease-proof your child!
Spotlight on Children's Health Issues
This section is a preview of my latest book entitled Disease-Proof Your Child:
We are molded by our childhood
"When our son Elliot was three, we already had a sickly child. He was suffering from his seventh ear infection and had severe eczema since his first year of life. We had been to numerous specialists for his raw itchy skin and tried many medical treatments to no avail. My search for a better solution led me to Dr. Fuhrman. In only two months after changing Elliot’s diet his skin condition had disappeared. To our surprise he never suffered another ear infection. It is not merely Elliot’s recovery that has moved us to write to you, it is our enthusiasm and gratitude for the knowledge we have gained from you that has given us an incredible sense of freedom and control over our own and our children’s health."
Julie and Stuart Rayburn
As parents, we want what is best for our children. We would never intentionally harm them. In fact, we make sure to get them the best care we know, read to them at bedtime and insist they wear their seatbelts, but when it comes to children and food, somehow we don’t know what is the best thing to do. Our children seem finicky and only eat cheese, pasta, chicken fingers or milk and cookies. At the same time, we notice that they are frequently ill. They suffer from recurring ear infections, runny noses, stomachaches and headaches. We note their symptoms and haul them in to the doctor, who prescribes yet another round of antibiotics. All this is normal for children —right?
Wrong!This scenario may be “normal” for kids today, but it is not normal for humans or any other species of animal that eats nutrient-rich natural foods designed by nature for that particular species. Scientific research has demonstrated that humans have a powerful immune system, even stronger than other animals. Our bodies are self-repairing, self-defending organisms, which have the innate ability to defend themselves against microbes and prevent chronic illnesses. This can only happen if we give our bodies the correct raw materials. When we don’t supply the young body with its nutritional requirements, we see bizarre diseases occur. We even witness the increasing appearance of cancers that were unheard of in prior human history.
Despite our very best intentions, today there are dangers that well-meaning parents inflict on their children without even being aware of it. Certainly, people like you and me would never mean to do anything other than the best for our children, but every day in small ways, we may well be causing harm to their precious little bodies. How does this happen? Through the choices we make every day in what we decide to feed them.
There is an issue of vital importance that most well-meaning parents don’t know about. They don’t know because nobody has told them. The issue is this: the modern diet that most children are eating today creates a fertile cellular environment for cancer to emerge at a later age. Trying to prevent breast, prostate and other cancers as an adult may not be possible because most risk factors cannot be changed at this late stage. The bottom line is that in order to have a major impact, we must intervene much earlier, even as early as the first seven years of life. In other words, childhood diets create adult cancers. That’s right: when our children don’t eat fruits and vegetables and instead are fed junk food, the groundwork may be laid for cancer and other diseases down the road.
The science behind these surprising statements is addressed in my book, Disease Proof your Child. This website section will only touch the tip of the iceberg. However, worth noting is the following dismal fact: many children today are very often recurrently sick with ear infections, allergies, asthma and then, later in life, may develop autoimmune illnesses such as lupus, ulcerative colitis and rheumatoid arthritis. This is not because children just naturally pass around germs or have bad genes, but it is because their diets are inadequate. Antibiotics cannot prevent these problems. Only a diet of nutritional excellence can.
The most recent scientific evidence is both overwhelming and shocking. Apparently, what we feed or don’t feed our children during the growing years has a greater impact on the dietary contribution to cancers than does nutritional intake over the next 50 years. Today, it is known that both children of American descent and from developed countries consume less than 2% of their diet from natural plant foods such as fruits and vegetables. American children move into adulthood eating 90% of their calories from dairy products, white flour, sugar and oil. Amazingly, about 25% of toddlers between ages one and two eat no fruits and vegetables at all. By 15 months, French fries are the most common vegetable consumed in America! Have parents gone crazy?
This is shocking information, to be sure, but recent scientific evidence is just too powerful and compelling to ignore. Over the past two decades convincing evidence has emerged which links autoimmune illnesses, such as Crohn’s Disease, lupus and later-life cancers with precise dietary factors from the first ten years of life. This means that we now know what factors help to create an environment in our bodies which is favorable for cancers to surface later in life, and we understand the precise dietary factors that can prevent cancer in our child’s future. The worst part is that parents haven’t been informed that what their children eat in the first ten years of life has such a profound effect on their entire lives.
Autoimmune diseases, such as childhood onset diabetes, lupus, psoriasis and inflammatory bowel disease can develop as a result of feeding errors early in life and can cause more tragic health problems. Without the necessary knowledge, detailing the dietary style that can prevent later life cancers, many parents are unfortunately feeding their children dangerous, cancer-provoking diets.
My goal is to provide priceless information to parents, so they can give their children the greatest gift of all — the opportunity for a long and healthy life. We wouldn’t allow our children to sit around the table smoking cigars and drinking whiskey, because it is not socially acceptable; however, we don’t think twice about giving them cola, fries cooked in trans fat and cheeseburgers, regularly. Many children consume soft drinks, doughnuts, cookies, cupcakes and candy on a daily basis. It is difficult for parents to understand the insidious, slow destruction of their child’s genetic potential and the foundation for serious illness that is being built by the consumption of these foods. Most Americans don’t even contemplate that drinking soda, and eating chips, junk food and fast-food meals may be just as risky (or more so) than letting their children smoke cigarettes.
It would be unrealistic to feel optimistic about the health and well-being of the next generation when there is an unprecedented increase in the average weight of children in this country and record levels of childhood obesity. Most ominous were the results reported by the 1992 Bogalusa Heart Study, which studied autopsies performed on children killed in accidental deaths. The study confirmed the existence of fatty plaques and streaks (the beginning of atherosclerosis) in most children and teenagers!
For the majority of their lives, many American adults and children consume foods that are severely deficient in plant-derived nutrients. I have observed these nutrient levels in thousands of patients and have become shocked at the dismal levels in supposedly “healthy” people. Our bodies are not immune to immutable biological laws that govern cellular function. Given enough time, disease will develop. Even borderline deficiencies can result in various subtle defects in human health, leading to anxiety, autoimmune disorders, cancer and poor eyesight, just to name a few.
The Development of Breast Cancer – A Childhood Event
Carcinogenesis, the process that leads to cancer, is believed to occur in a series of steps. It is a multistage process that begins with pre-cancerous cellular damage that gradually proceeds to more malignant changes. The first step is the development of cellular abnormalities, which eventually leads to cancer. This usually occurs during adolescence or soon after puberty. Remember that unhealthful childhood nutritional practices cause excessive sex hormone production and early pathologic changes in the breast tissue that set the stage for cancer many years later.
Studies have shown that the arrival of puberty at an earlier age is a significant marker of increased risk. Furthermore, there is overwhelming evidence that ovarian hormones play a crucial role, in all stages, in the development of breast cancer. It is common knowledge among physicians that the earlier a woman matures, as measured by the age of her first menstrual period, the higher her risk for breast cancer. Both early menarche and greater body weight are markers of increased risk of breast cancer.
Ominously, the onset of menstruation has been occurring at a younger and younger age in Western societies during this century. For example, the average age in the United States is now about twelve years; however, according to the World Health Organization, the average age at which puberty began in 1840 was seventeen. In addition, during the same time period, there has been an increased consumption of fat, refined carbohydrates, cheese and meat, and there has been a huge decrease in the consumption of starchy plants, beans, fruit and nuts. A greater consumption of animal foods leads to a higher level of hormones related to early reproductive function and growth. These hormonal abnormalities persist into adulthood. Uterine fibroids (or tumors) also develop from a diet deficient in fruits and vegetables and heavy in cheese and meat. As the consumption of meat increases and vegetation decreases, one’s risk of fibroids increases proportionately.
Women are not the only sex affected. The same increased risk, as a result of early maturation, is seen with both prostate cancer and testicular cancer. If we grow and mature more rapidly, we increase our cancer risk and age faster. We see the same pattern in lab animals; if we feed them so they grow faster, they age rapidly, develop cancer and die younger.
In other words, the stage is set by our poor dietary habits early in life. Breast and prostate cancer are strongly affected by our dietary practices when we are young.
Fewer Animal Products, More Fruits and Vegetables
We have been indoctrinated since early childhood to believe that animal protein is a nutrient to be held in high esteem. We have been brought up with the idea that these foods are good for us if they help us grow bigger and faster. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
The public, as well as the media, is confused about this issue. They continue to associate the term better nutrition with earlier maturity and larger stature resulting from our greater consumption of animal protein and animal fats. These unfavorable trends are repeatedly reported as positive events. For example, earlier writers and nutritionists have mistakenly equated rapid growth with health. Science has demonstrated that an increased rate of growth is not a good thing. The slower a child grows, the slower he or she ages. Slower growth, taking longer to reach maturity, is predictive of a longer life in animal studies. We are finding the same thing in humans: an unnaturally rapid growth and premature puberty are risk factors for cancers and other diseases later in life. Evidence continues to mount that these same factors leading to early maturity and excessive growth in childhood increase the occurrence of cancer in general, not just breast and prostate cancer. Excluding malnutrition or serious disease, the slower we grow and mature, the longer we live.
Humans, like other primates, are designed to consume a diet predominating in natural plant foods with their symphony of essential phytochemicals. Fresh fruits, vegetables, beans, raw nuts and seeds should form the foundation of normal nutrition. Food preferences and tastes are formed early in life and children learn to eat the diets eaten by their parents.
Conclusion
When you have a child, you have the unique opportunity to mold a developing person. One of your greatest gifts to them can be a disease resistant body created from excellent food choices beginning at youth. Ear infections, strep throats, allergies, attention deficit hyperactivity disorders (ADD or ADHD), and even autoimmune diseases can be prevented by sound nutritional practices early in life. Common childhood illnesses are not only avoidable, but they're more effectively managed by incorporating nutritional excellence into one’s diet. This is far superior to the dependence on drugs to which we are accustomed. No parent would disagree that our children deserve only the best.
If you are a parent, you may want to follow this course of action:
Read my book, Disease-Proof Your Child, as a source of sound nutritional information.
Submit your questions in the “Ask The Doctor” forum on the website
Interact with other members in our online support system.
These steps are designed to assist parents in the challenges of raising a healthy child in our world of insane eating habits and toxic food choices.
http://www.drfuhrman.com/children/default.aspx
1-800-474-WELL (9355)
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Children's Health IssuesDisease-proof your child!
Spotlight on Children's Health Issues
This section is a preview of my latest book entitled Disease-Proof Your Child:
We are molded by our childhood
"When our son Elliot was three, we already had a sickly child. He was suffering from his seventh ear infection and had severe eczema since his first year of life. We had been to numerous specialists for his raw itchy skin and tried many medical treatments to no avail. My search for a better solution led me to Dr. Fuhrman. In only two months after changing Elliot’s diet his skin condition had disappeared. To our surprise he never suffered another ear infection. It is not merely Elliot’s recovery that has moved us to write to you, it is our enthusiasm and gratitude for the knowledge we have gained from you that has given us an incredible sense of freedom and control over our own and our children’s health."
Julie and Stuart Rayburn
As parents, we want what is best for our children. We would never intentionally harm them. In fact, we make sure to get them the best care we know, read to them at bedtime and insist they wear their seatbelts, but when it comes to children and food, somehow we don’t know what is the best thing to do. Our children seem finicky and only eat cheese, pasta, chicken fingers or milk and cookies. At the same time, we notice that they are frequently ill. They suffer from recurring ear infections, runny noses, stomachaches and headaches. We note their symptoms and haul them in to the doctor, who prescribes yet another round of antibiotics. All this is normal for children —right?
Wrong!This scenario may be “normal” for kids today, but it is not normal for humans or any other species of animal that eats nutrient-rich natural foods designed by nature for that particular species. Scientific research has demonstrated that humans have a powerful immune system, even stronger than other animals. Our bodies are self-repairing, self-defending organisms, which have the innate ability to defend themselves against microbes and prevent chronic illnesses. This can only happen if we give our bodies the correct raw materials. When we don’t supply the young body with its nutritional requirements, we see bizarre diseases occur. We even witness the increasing appearance of cancers that were unheard of in prior human history.
Despite our very best intentions, today there are dangers that well-meaning parents inflict on their children without even being aware of it. Certainly, people like you and me would never mean to do anything other than the best for our children, but every day in small ways, we may well be causing harm to their precious little bodies. How does this happen? Through the choices we make every day in what we decide to feed them.
There is an issue of vital importance that most well-meaning parents don’t know about. They don’t know because nobody has told them. The issue is this: the modern diet that most children are eating today creates a fertile cellular environment for cancer to emerge at a later age. Trying to prevent breast, prostate and other cancers as an adult may not be possible because most risk factors cannot be changed at this late stage. The bottom line is that in order to have a major impact, we must intervene much earlier, even as early as the first seven years of life. In other words, childhood diets create adult cancers. That’s right: when our children don’t eat fruits and vegetables and instead are fed junk food, the groundwork may be laid for cancer and other diseases down the road.
The science behind these surprising statements is addressed in my book, Disease Proof your Child. This website section will only touch the tip of the iceberg. However, worth noting is the following dismal fact: many children today are very often recurrently sick with ear infections, allergies, asthma and then, later in life, may develop autoimmune illnesses such as lupus, ulcerative colitis and rheumatoid arthritis. This is not because children just naturally pass around germs or have bad genes, but it is because their diets are inadequate. Antibiotics cannot prevent these problems. Only a diet of nutritional excellence can.
The most recent scientific evidence is both overwhelming and shocking. Apparently, what we feed or don’t feed our children during the growing years has a greater impact on the dietary contribution to cancers than does nutritional intake over the next 50 years. Today, it is known that both children of American descent and from developed countries consume less than 2% of their diet from natural plant foods such as fruits and vegetables. American children move into adulthood eating 90% of their calories from dairy products, white flour, sugar and oil. Amazingly, about 25% of toddlers between ages one and two eat no fruits and vegetables at all. By 15 months, French fries are the most common vegetable consumed in America! Have parents gone crazy?
This is shocking information, to be sure, but recent scientific evidence is just too powerful and compelling to ignore. Over the past two decades convincing evidence has emerged which links autoimmune illnesses, such as Crohn’s Disease, lupus and later-life cancers with precise dietary factors from the first ten years of life. This means that we now know what factors help to create an environment in our bodies which is favorable for cancers to surface later in life, and we understand the precise dietary factors that can prevent cancer in our child’s future. The worst part is that parents haven’t been informed that what their children eat in the first ten years of life has such a profound effect on their entire lives.
Autoimmune diseases, such as childhood onset diabetes, lupus, psoriasis and inflammatory bowel disease can develop as a result of feeding errors early in life and can cause more tragic health problems. Without the necessary knowledge, detailing the dietary style that can prevent later life cancers, many parents are unfortunately feeding their children dangerous, cancer-provoking diets.
My goal is to provide priceless information to parents, so they can give their children the greatest gift of all — the opportunity for a long and healthy life. We wouldn’t allow our children to sit around the table smoking cigars and drinking whiskey, because it is not socially acceptable; however, we don’t think twice about giving them cola, fries cooked in trans fat and cheeseburgers, regularly. Many children consume soft drinks, doughnuts, cookies, cupcakes and candy on a daily basis. It is difficult for parents to understand the insidious, slow destruction of their child’s genetic potential and the foundation for serious illness that is being built by the consumption of these foods. Most Americans don’t even contemplate that drinking soda, and eating chips, junk food and fast-food meals may be just as risky (or more so) than letting their children smoke cigarettes.
It would be unrealistic to feel optimistic about the health and well-being of the next generation when there is an unprecedented increase in the average weight of children in this country and record levels of childhood obesity. Most ominous were the results reported by the 1992 Bogalusa Heart Study, which studied autopsies performed on children killed in accidental deaths. The study confirmed the existence of fatty plaques and streaks (the beginning of atherosclerosis) in most children and teenagers!
For the majority of their lives, many American adults and children consume foods that are severely deficient in plant-derived nutrients. I have observed these nutrient levels in thousands of patients and have become shocked at the dismal levels in supposedly “healthy” people. Our bodies are not immune to immutable biological laws that govern cellular function. Given enough time, disease will develop. Even borderline deficiencies can result in various subtle defects in human health, leading to anxiety, autoimmune disorders, cancer and poor eyesight, just to name a few.
The Development of Breast Cancer – A Childhood Event
Carcinogenesis, the process that leads to cancer, is believed to occur in a series of steps. It is a multistage process that begins with pre-cancerous cellular damage that gradually proceeds to more malignant changes. The first step is the development of cellular abnormalities, which eventually leads to cancer. This usually occurs during adolescence or soon after puberty. Remember that unhealthful childhood nutritional practices cause excessive sex hormone production and early pathologic changes in the breast tissue that set the stage for cancer many years later.
Studies have shown that the arrival of puberty at an earlier age is a significant marker of increased risk. Furthermore, there is overwhelming evidence that ovarian hormones play a crucial role, in all stages, in the development of breast cancer. It is common knowledge among physicians that the earlier a woman matures, as measured by the age of her first menstrual period, the higher her risk for breast cancer. Both early menarche and greater body weight are markers of increased risk of breast cancer.
Ominously, the onset of menstruation has been occurring at a younger and younger age in Western societies during this century. For example, the average age in the United States is now about twelve years; however, according to the World Health Organization, the average age at which puberty began in 1840 was seventeen. In addition, during the same time period, there has been an increased consumption of fat, refined carbohydrates, cheese and meat, and there has been a huge decrease in the consumption of starchy plants, beans, fruit and nuts. A greater consumption of animal foods leads to a higher level of hormones related to early reproductive function and growth. These hormonal abnormalities persist into adulthood. Uterine fibroids (or tumors) also develop from a diet deficient in fruits and vegetables and heavy in cheese and meat. As the consumption of meat increases and vegetation decreases, one’s risk of fibroids increases proportionately.
Women are not the only sex affected. The same increased risk, as a result of early maturation, is seen with both prostate cancer and testicular cancer. If we grow and mature more rapidly, we increase our cancer risk and age faster. We see the same pattern in lab animals; if we feed them so they grow faster, they age rapidly, develop cancer and die younger.
In other words, the stage is set by our poor dietary habits early in life. Breast and prostate cancer are strongly affected by our dietary practices when we are young.
Fewer Animal Products, More Fruits and Vegetables
We have been indoctrinated since early childhood to believe that animal protein is a nutrient to be held in high esteem. We have been brought up with the idea that these foods are good for us if they help us grow bigger and faster. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
The public, as well as the media, is confused about this issue. They continue to associate the term better nutrition with earlier maturity and larger stature resulting from our greater consumption of animal protein and animal fats. These unfavorable trends are repeatedly reported as positive events. For example, earlier writers and nutritionists have mistakenly equated rapid growth with health. Science has demonstrated that an increased rate of growth is not a good thing. The slower a child grows, the slower he or she ages. Slower growth, taking longer to reach maturity, is predictive of a longer life in animal studies. We are finding the same thing in humans: an unnaturally rapid growth and premature puberty are risk factors for cancers and other diseases later in life. Evidence continues to mount that these same factors leading to early maturity and excessive growth in childhood increase the occurrence of cancer in general, not just breast and prostate cancer. Excluding malnutrition or serious disease, the slower we grow and mature, the longer we live.
Humans, like other primates, are designed to consume a diet predominating in natural plant foods with their symphony of essential phytochemicals. Fresh fruits, vegetables, beans, raw nuts and seeds should form the foundation of normal nutrition. Food preferences and tastes are formed early in life and children learn to eat the diets eaten by their parents.
Conclusion
When you have a child, you have the unique opportunity to mold a developing person. One of your greatest gifts to them can be a disease resistant body created from excellent food choices beginning at youth. Ear infections, strep throats, allergies, attention deficit hyperactivity disorders (ADD or ADHD), and even autoimmune diseases can be prevented by sound nutritional practices early in life. Common childhood illnesses are not only avoidable, but they're more effectively managed by incorporating nutritional excellence into one’s diet. This is far superior to the dependence on drugs to which we are accustomed. No parent would disagree that our children deserve only the best.
If you are a parent, you may want to follow this course of action:
Read my book, Disease-Proof Your Child, as a source of sound nutritional information.
Submit your questions in the “Ask The Doctor” forum on the website
Interact with other members in our online support system.
These steps are designed to assist parents in the challenges of raising a healthy child in our world of insane eating habits and toxic food choices.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Heart Bi-Pass
Yesterday we went to Green Bay so my mom could get an angiogram. As I sat in the cardiac unit, I watched an employee eat her breakfast at her desk. She sat there with a bowl of sausage link for breakfast. This somehow seemed like it was oxymoronish to me. I went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and my choices were eggs, hash browns, white bread, bagels (made from enriched white flour), sausage links, bacon, yogurt, oatmeal, bananas and apples. There were muffins of all kinds, danishes and cookies all over. There was also a guy behind the counter making omeletts by the order.
Shouldn't a hospital be the one to take the initiative and "show" people healthy eating? Whole grain bread would be a great start and fat free and vegan entrees would also be great to see. But, I suppose--hospitals are "for profit". They are not there to make people well, they are there to make money by treating the problem. If they told people how to prevent health issues, it wouldn't be a billion dollar industry.
Back to my mom and the reason we were there....
She is a smoker and has never eaten well--so at the age of 56 years old she has 70 % blockage in two arteries and 90% in one as well as a leaky valve.
I can't say I was surprised. Before the procedure I asked the cardiologist if blockage can be reverse by lifestyle and diet. He told me flat out, "no, you can prevent more blockage by changing your diet, but you cannot reverse heart disease without surgery". This is a blatant LIE.
The head cardiologist of the Cleveland Clinic has PROVEN different. Surgery is NOT the only way to reverse and cure heart disease. See the link above for the facts.
After talking about the medication my mom is on, and discussing her lupus--the cardiologist change his recommendation from bi-pass surgury to bi-pass surgury is too risky.
She has a choice. She can quit smoking immediately and change her diet DRASTICALLY to reverse the effects or die. The blockage isn't the biggest concern...the blood will find a new way around. The concern is that the plaques will break off and cause a stroke. A diet rich in antioxidants will help prevent the plaques from breaking off.
A healthy diet and lifestyle is the key to life. Below are resources.
http://http://www.ravediet.com/
Below is information I pasted from a blog. This person has all of the info needed on his site. Click on the link:
http://http://soulveggie.blogs.com/my_weblog/2008/06/dietary-time-bo.html
"...Every forkful of fat, he says, causes an immediate biochemical assault on the endothelium, the lining of the arteries. White blood cells collect there, gobbling up bad cholesterol and creating fatty deposits over time. For many people, especially those who smoke or have other risk factors, accumulation of plaque is a time bomb for a coronary event..."
"...What really keeps me on fire about this is we have an epidemic of disease in this country that doesn't need to exist," Esselstyn said in an interview. "It's so ridiculously simplistic to turn around this epidemic, it's scary..."
"...Esselstyn has turned his life's work to demonstrating that heart disease doesn't need to exist in the first place. And if it does, it can be reversed. The remedy is a plant-based diet, he says. Learn to live with no meat, no fish, no dairy or oils of any kind, and make yourself "heart-attack proof.""
The above is excerpted from the article here (and below), although one of the "experts" quoted seems to think that 20 years of peer-reviewed research that clearly demonstrated reversal of heart disease, by two different doctors separated by 1000s of miles "is not proof." How absurd. But then, I've taken a lot of flack since interviewing Esselstyn. Over the past 16 or 17 months, following his diet, and losing my taste for the added fat or oil, has made me at odds with some friends, family, and other vegans. One vegan blogger said he would have to "agree to disagree" with Caldwell's research! (Yeah, sorry Mr. Newton, this "gravity" you speak of makes no sense... have to disagree with you).
It's also ironic, too, that some of the VegNews "VegBloggy" (past and present) winners unconsciously extoll unnecessary fat in their recipes. One of them has promoted high-fat cheese substitutes and high-fat processed vegan dressings, and another recently praised Pringles for her kid's lunch (essentially processed potatoes, salt, and fat).
What Drs. Esselstyn and Ornstein have discovered is of vital importance to all vegans and vegetarians (let alone the general populace). Adding fat to your diet is essentially creating a ticking internal time bomb that has a high percentage chance of blowing up when you are in your 40s and beyond. The accumulated abuse over decades of adding unnecessary fat to your diet, for most people, will enable heart disease to manifest and your health deterioriate. It's probably not a coincidence that Dr. Barnard has cited proof that a no-added fat vegan diet also reverses diabetes in most cases, and is probably a preventative there as well.
So, if you've the discipline to give up meat, eggs, and dairy, then why not take the last crucial step of eliminating added fat to your diet? Some might say, "life without oil isn't worth living," but I would counter that, "life with oil will most likely kill you." Try it for two months. You've only your long-term health to gain. Heart disease is the biggest killer of men and women in this country (irrespective of whether they are vegan or not).
Be a healthy vegan... stop with the oil. Here's four fine places to start:
http://www.fatfreevegan.com
http://www.fatfree.com
http://www.pcrm.org/health/Recipes/
http://www.heartattackproof.com
FROM:http://www.cleveland.com/healthfit/index.ssf/2008/06/exsurgeon_caldwell_esselstyn_e.html
Ex-surgeon Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. espouses a noninvasive cure for heart disease
Thomas Ondrey/The Plain Dealer Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. and his wife Ann, in pink, consult with a couple interested in his plant-based diet for coronary heart disease, in the kitchen of his home.Read excerpts from the book: "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease: The Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven, Nutrition-Based Cure."
Esselstyn's rules to live by
• No meat, poultry, fish, dairy products or oils
• Eat vegetables (except avocado), fruits, legumes and whole grain products.
His Web site: http://www.Heartattackproof.com
Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. has no qualms about stepping inside the nation's No. 1 heart hospital and dishing on angioplasty.
Invasive treatment is a mainstay of cardiac care, and it pays the bills. It's also what's wrong with medicine, says the retired Cleveland Clinic surgeon who has been affiliated with the hospital for 40 years.
Esselstyn has turned his life's work to demonstrating that heart disease doesn't need to exist in the first place. And if it does, it can be reversed. The remedy is a plant-based diet, he says.
Learn to live with no meat, no fish, no dairy or oils of any kind, and make yourself "heart-attack proof."
Most doctors would agree a strict vegetarian diet is good for the heart. But the idea that a diet free of animal products and fat can cure the No. 1 killer in America is a point of debate among doctors.
Drug companies are in fierce competition to find a cholesterol drug that does what Esselstyn argues can be done better through diet. The call to attack artery-clogging plaque naturally is a challenge to the medical profession and an unspoken threat to the bottom line of the medical industry.
But Esselstyn has the audacity to take his message to Cosgrove Country, where Clinic chief Toby Cosgrove is building a glassy new center for heart treatment while also trying to build a reputation for prevention and wellness programs.
One recent morning, Esselstyn slipped on a white lab coat and told a group assembled in a Clinic classroom that treating heart disease with stents and statins is not the answer. He implored them to accept that the body, given the right fuel, can restore coronary arteries damaged by the fatty Western diet.
Why a stent when the right diet will do?
Esselstyn, a stalky 6-foot-3 former Olympic gold medalist, pointed to white branches of the heart's plumbing system illuminated on an overhead screen. They were X-rays of arteries belonging to patients who took up his nutrition program. The X-rays showed vessels narrowed by disease that appeared to open after patients shunned burgers and fries for greens and grains.
"Why do you have to have an operation or stent?" Esselstyn asked rhetorically. "Your body can do this so simply."
Esselstyn and his wife, Ann, have followed a plant-based, oil-free diet for more than 20 years. He has studied a number of heart patients under his counsel during that time and reports their remarkable success in a recently published a book called "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease."
He lives in Pepper Pike and is part of a small fraternity of prevention activists who say a vegetarian diet can protect the heart, the best known of whom is best-selling author Dr. Dean Ornish.
"What really keeps me on fire about this is we have an epidemic of disease in this country that doesn't need to exist," Esselstyn said in an interview. "It's so ridiculously simplistic to turn around this epidemic, it's scary."
A diet that calls for extreme discipline
Simplistic perhaps, but demanding. The Esselstyn diet means never saying you ate "pretty good," or you only had a little ice cream.
Thomas Ondrey/The Plain Dealer The Esselstyn file
• Age: 74
• Member of Yale rowing team that won gold medal in 1956 Olympics.
• U.S. Army surgeon during the Vietnam War.
• Married to Ann Crile Esselstyn (above), granddaughter of Cleveland Clinic co-founder Dr. George Crile.
• Cleveland Clinic surgeon for 31 years.
• Quote: "I became disillusioned with a lot of what we were doing in medicine. No matter how many operations I did, I wasn't doing anything for the next victim."
Every forkful of fat, he says, causes an immediate biochemical assault on the endothelium, the lining of the arteries. White blood cells collect there, gobbling up bad cholesterol and creating fatty deposits over time.
For many people, especially those who smoke or have other risk factors, accumulation of plaque is a time bomb for a coronary event.
It might take something like that to convince an average meat-eater to adopt the Esselstyn diet. Even then, you wonder how many people at a heart attack survivors' convention would line up at his table.
Many doctors might agree with Esselsytn, but few are likely to push the no-mercy diet on patients, simply because it's thought to be unachievable.
"This diet is looked at as extreme as you can get, so many physicians instead of going to the extreme, go somewhere in the middle," said Dr. Joe Crowe, director of the breast center at the Clinic.
Crowe has followed Esselstyn's program since he suffered a heart attack at age 44 in 1996. He learned a new way of eating and said that once your taste buds adjust, you stop liking the taste of fat. You learn which restaurants to eat at and how to navigate social functions, which for Crowe involves moving stuff around the plate "so it looks like I've eaten something."
He was lean and healthy, with no sign of heart trouble when his heart attack struck. He learned that the lower third of a main artery leading to the front of his heart was significantly narrowed. They call this vessel the "widow maker." Crowe wasn't a candidate for surgical intervention, so he turned to Esselstyn. Two-and-a-half years later, an angiogram showed the diseased artery was normal.
A need for large-scale trials?
Esselstyn has meticulously followed more than a dozen patients with advanced coronary disease who adopted his program. He writes in his book that patients saw cholesterol levels plummet and their angina disappear. After five years, 11 patients who underwent follow-up angiograms had stopped or reversed progression of the disease, he wrote.
"Patients with heart disease and their families, their greatest fear is when the next shoe is going to drop," Esselstyn said. "This is a very powerful gift they have given themselves and their families."
He counts cardiologists among those who have come knocking at his door for help. But he is first to admit he has not won a large number of believers at the Clinic. He tiptoes carefully on the subject of how his mantra plays there.
Dr. Steven Nissen, chairman of cardiovascular medicine at the Clinic, said Esselstyn's premise is unproven because nobody has conducted a rigorous study to show whether diet alone can reverse coronary disease.
"This is the reality," Nissen said. "We do the large-scale trials that somebody has to fund."
Nissen also cautioned that there is no "one-size-fits-all" answer for patients at risk for heart trouble. "I generally advise patients don't go out and buy a book and decide that's what you're going to do," he said.
But medicine should be a forum for different ideas, Nissen said.
On that count, the Clinic has made room for Essesltyn in his second career (he retired from surgery in 2000). He is part of the hospital's new Wellness Institute, headed by celebrity health guru Dr. Michael Roizen.
Esselstyn's wife, Ann, who is granddaughter of Clinic co-founder George Crile, is also a partner in his efforts. She authored a chapter in the book and contributed a volume of recipes, from banana french toast to veggie stuffed peppers.
Ann asks people she meets right off what they ate for lunch.
Together they counsel patients in their home, hosting four-hour sessions on how to shop, cook and eat in ways that most people never contemplated.
Ann accompanied her husband on his recent Clinic lecture, cradling a bundle of leafy greens to demonstrate the art of stripping leaf from stem.
Who knows? In an institution known for th"e best cardiac treatment in the world, kale and collard greens might be just what the doctor ordered.
2008.06.11 at 10:59 Permalink
Technorati Tags: diabetes, diet, fat free, heart disease, no fat, non-fat, recipes, vegan, vegetarian
Shouldn't a hospital be the one to take the initiative and "show" people healthy eating? Whole grain bread would be a great start and fat free and vegan entrees would also be great to see. But, I suppose--hospitals are "for profit". They are not there to make people well, they are there to make money by treating the problem. If they told people how to prevent health issues, it wouldn't be a billion dollar industry.
Back to my mom and the reason we were there....
She is a smoker and has never eaten well--so at the age of 56 years old she has 70 % blockage in two arteries and 90% in one as well as a leaky valve.
I can't say I was surprised. Before the procedure I asked the cardiologist if blockage can be reverse by lifestyle and diet. He told me flat out, "no, you can prevent more blockage by changing your diet, but you cannot reverse heart disease without surgery". This is a blatant LIE.
The head cardiologist of the Cleveland Clinic has PROVEN different. Surgery is NOT the only way to reverse and cure heart disease. See the link above for the facts.
After talking about the medication my mom is on, and discussing her lupus--the cardiologist change his recommendation from bi-pass surgury to bi-pass surgury is too risky.
She has a choice. She can quit smoking immediately and change her diet DRASTICALLY to reverse the effects or die. The blockage isn't the biggest concern...the blood will find a new way around. The concern is that the plaques will break off and cause a stroke. A diet rich in antioxidants will help prevent the plaques from breaking off.
A healthy diet and lifestyle is the key to life. Below are resources.
http://http://www.ravediet.com/
Below is information I pasted from a blog. This person has all of the info needed on his site. Click on the link:
http://http://soulveggie.blogs.com/my_weblog/2008/06/dietary-time-bo.html
"...Every forkful of fat, he says, causes an immediate biochemical assault on the endothelium, the lining of the arteries. White blood cells collect there, gobbling up bad cholesterol and creating fatty deposits over time. For many people, especially those who smoke or have other risk factors, accumulation of plaque is a time bomb for a coronary event..."
"...What really keeps me on fire about this is we have an epidemic of disease in this country that doesn't need to exist," Esselstyn said in an interview. "It's so ridiculously simplistic to turn around this epidemic, it's scary..."
"...Esselstyn has turned his life's work to demonstrating that heart disease doesn't need to exist in the first place. And if it does, it can be reversed. The remedy is a plant-based diet, he says. Learn to live with no meat, no fish, no dairy or oils of any kind, and make yourself "heart-attack proof.""
The above is excerpted from the article here (and below), although one of the "experts" quoted seems to think that 20 years of peer-reviewed research that clearly demonstrated reversal of heart disease, by two different doctors separated by 1000s of miles "is not proof." How absurd. But then, I've taken a lot of flack since interviewing Esselstyn. Over the past 16 or 17 months, following his diet, and losing my taste for the added fat or oil, has made me at odds with some friends, family, and other vegans. One vegan blogger said he would have to "agree to disagree" with Caldwell's research! (Yeah, sorry Mr. Newton, this "gravity" you speak of makes no sense... have to disagree with you).
It's also ironic, too, that some of the VegNews "VegBloggy" (past and present) winners unconsciously extoll unnecessary fat in their recipes. One of them has promoted high-fat cheese substitutes and high-fat processed vegan dressings, and another recently praised Pringles for her kid's lunch (essentially processed potatoes, salt, and fat).
What Drs. Esselstyn and Ornstein have discovered is of vital importance to all vegans and vegetarians (let alone the general populace). Adding fat to your diet is essentially creating a ticking internal time bomb that has a high percentage chance of blowing up when you are in your 40s and beyond. The accumulated abuse over decades of adding unnecessary fat to your diet, for most people, will enable heart disease to manifest and your health deterioriate. It's probably not a coincidence that Dr. Barnard has cited proof that a no-added fat vegan diet also reverses diabetes in most cases, and is probably a preventative there as well.
So, if you've the discipline to give up meat, eggs, and dairy, then why not take the last crucial step of eliminating added fat to your diet? Some might say, "life without oil isn't worth living," but I would counter that, "life with oil will most likely kill you." Try it for two months. You've only your long-term health to gain. Heart disease is the biggest killer of men and women in this country (irrespective of whether they are vegan or not).
Be a healthy vegan... stop with the oil. Here's four fine places to start:
http://www.fatfreevegan.com
http://www.fatfree.com
http://www.pcrm.org/health/Recipes/
http://www.heartattackproof.com
FROM:http://www.cleveland.com/healthfit/index.ssf/2008/06/exsurgeon_caldwell_esselstyn_e.html
Ex-surgeon Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. espouses a noninvasive cure for heart disease
Thomas Ondrey/The Plain Dealer Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. and his wife Ann, in pink, consult with a couple interested in his plant-based diet for coronary heart disease, in the kitchen of his home.Read excerpts from the book: "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease: The Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven, Nutrition-Based Cure."
Esselstyn's rules to live by
• No meat, poultry, fish, dairy products or oils
• Eat vegetables (except avocado), fruits, legumes and whole grain products.
His Web site: http://www.Heartattackproof.com
Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. has no qualms about stepping inside the nation's No. 1 heart hospital and dishing on angioplasty.
Invasive treatment is a mainstay of cardiac care, and it pays the bills. It's also what's wrong with medicine, says the retired Cleveland Clinic surgeon who has been affiliated with the hospital for 40 years.
Esselstyn has turned his life's work to demonstrating that heart disease doesn't need to exist in the first place. And if it does, it can be reversed. The remedy is a plant-based diet, he says.
Learn to live with no meat, no fish, no dairy or oils of any kind, and make yourself "heart-attack proof."
Most doctors would agree a strict vegetarian diet is good for the heart. But the idea that a diet free of animal products and fat can cure the No. 1 killer in America is a point of debate among doctors.
Drug companies are in fierce competition to find a cholesterol drug that does what Esselstyn argues can be done better through diet. The call to attack artery-clogging plaque naturally is a challenge to the medical profession and an unspoken threat to the bottom line of the medical industry.
But Esselstyn has the audacity to take his message to Cosgrove Country, where Clinic chief Toby Cosgrove is building a glassy new center for heart treatment while also trying to build a reputation for prevention and wellness programs.
One recent morning, Esselstyn slipped on a white lab coat and told a group assembled in a Clinic classroom that treating heart disease with stents and statins is not the answer. He implored them to accept that the body, given the right fuel, can restore coronary arteries damaged by the fatty Western diet.
Why a stent when the right diet will do?
Esselstyn, a stalky 6-foot-3 former Olympic gold medalist, pointed to white branches of the heart's plumbing system illuminated on an overhead screen. They were X-rays of arteries belonging to patients who took up his nutrition program. The X-rays showed vessels narrowed by disease that appeared to open after patients shunned burgers and fries for greens and grains.
"Why do you have to have an operation or stent?" Esselstyn asked rhetorically. "Your body can do this so simply."
Esselstyn and his wife, Ann, have followed a plant-based, oil-free diet for more than 20 years. He has studied a number of heart patients under his counsel during that time and reports their remarkable success in a recently published a book called "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease."
He lives in Pepper Pike and is part of a small fraternity of prevention activists who say a vegetarian diet can protect the heart, the best known of whom is best-selling author Dr. Dean Ornish.
"What really keeps me on fire about this is we have an epidemic of disease in this country that doesn't need to exist," Esselstyn said in an interview. "It's so ridiculously simplistic to turn around this epidemic, it's scary."
A diet that calls for extreme discipline
Simplistic perhaps, but demanding. The Esselstyn diet means never saying you ate "pretty good," or you only had a little ice cream.
Thomas Ondrey/The Plain Dealer The Esselstyn file
• Age: 74
• Member of Yale rowing team that won gold medal in 1956 Olympics.
• U.S. Army surgeon during the Vietnam War.
• Married to Ann Crile Esselstyn (above), granddaughter of Cleveland Clinic co-founder Dr. George Crile.
• Cleveland Clinic surgeon for 31 years.
• Quote: "I became disillusioned with a lot of what we were doing in medicine. No matter how many operations I did, I wasn't doing anything for the next victim."
Every forkful of fat, he says, causes an immediate biochemical assault on the endothelium, the lining of the arteries. White blood cells collect there, gobbling up bad cholesterol and creating fatty deposits over time.
For many people, especially those who smoke or have other risk factors, accumulation of plaque is a time bomb for a coronary event.
It might take something like that to convince an average meat-eater to adopt the Esselstyn diet. Even then, you wonder how many people at a heart attack survivors' convention would line up at his table.
Many doctors might agree with Esselsytn, but few are likely to push the no-mercy diet on patients, simply because it's thought to be unachievable.
"This diet is looked at as extreme as you can get, so many physicians instead of going to the extreme, go somewhere in the middle," said Dr. Joe Crowe, director of the breast center at the Clinic.
Crowe has followed Esselstyn's program since he suffered a heart attack at age 44 in 1996. He learned a new way of eating and said that once your taste buds adjust, you stop liking the taste of fat. You learn which restaurants to eat at and how to navigate social functions, which for Crowe involves moving stuff around the plate "so it looks like I've eaten something."
He was lean and healthy, with no sign of heart trouble when his heart attack struck. He learned that the lower third of a main artery leading to the front of his heart was significantly narrowed. They call this vessel the "widow maker." Crowe wasn't a candidate for surgical intervention, so he turned to Esselstyn. Two-and-a-half years later, an angiogram showed the diseased artery was normal.
A need for large-scale trials?
Esselstyn has meticulously followed more than a dozen patients with advanced coronary disease who adopted his program. He writes in his book that patients saw cholesterol levels plummet and their angina disappear. After five years, 11 patients who underwent follow-up angiograms had stopped or reversed progression of the disease, he wrote.
"Patients with heart disease and their families, their greatest fear is when the next shoe is going to drop," Esselstyn said. "This is a very powerful gift they have given themselves and their families."
He counts cardiologists among those who have come knocking at his door for help. But he is first to admit he has not won a large number of believers at the Clinic. He tiptoes carefully on the subject of how his mantra plays there.
Dr. Steven Nissen, chairman of cardiovascular medicine at the Clinic, said Esselstyn's premise is unproven because nobody has conducted a rigorous study to show whether diet alone can reverse coronary disease.
"This is the reality," Nissen said. "We do the large-scale trials that somebody has to fund."
Nissen also cautioned that there is no "one-size-fits-all" answer for patients at risk for heart trouble. "I generally advise patients don't go out and buy a book and decide that's what you're going to do," he said.
But medicine should be a forum for different ideas, Nissen said.
On that count, the Clinic has made room for Essesltyn in his second career (he retired from surgery in 2000). He is part of the hospital's new Wellness Institute, headed by celebrity health guru Dr. Michael Roizen.
Esselstyn's wife, Ann, who is granddaughter of Clinic co-founder George Crile, is also a partner in his efforts. She authored a chapter in the book and contributed a volume of recipes, from banana french toast to veggie stuffed peppers.
Ann asks people she meets right off what they ate for lunch.
Together they counsel patients in their home, hosting four-hour sessions on how to shop, cook and eat in ways that most people never contemplated.
Ann accompanied her husband on his recent Clinic lecture, cradling a bundle of leafy greens to demonstrate the art of stripping leaf from stem.
Who knows? In an institution known for th"e best cardiac treatment in the world, kale and collard greens might be just what the doctor ordered.
2008.06.11 at 10:59 Permalink
Technorati Tags: diabetes, diet, fat free, heart disease, no fat, non-fat, recipes, vegan, vegetarian
Monday, July 21, 2008
Is Anybody Out There?!?!?
Hey, I'm still here! Still alive, I decided I needed to prioritize my life. Unfortunately, I had to put sleep ahead of blogging.
Life is good.
The custody thing is over and my little one now goes to see her father every other weekend. The judge did specify "no alcohol in the presence of R". That is a great rule and keeps things in check when she is with her father. I'm doing ok with it. The first weekend was really hard--I just cried and cried. But, now, I accept it--even though I don't like giving up my time with her.
A friend once told me that eventually his social life would take precedence over visitation with his daughter. Well, it has already begun. He did not pick her up Friday night...he told me it was because he was tired, but I know better. When he asked if I could keep her Friday night I was happy and told him I'd love to keep her. I don't care what his reasons are, it's more time I get with her. He picked her up Sat and then his mom babysat Sunday while he went golfing from noon until I picked her up @ 4.
I'm focusing on the positive.
The relationship is going well....
I'll be in the U.P. and WI next week with my mom. She is going to the hospital in Green Bay WI so they can see if there is blockage in her heart.....
I should have plenty of time next week for posting....and refection......
Life is good.
The custody thing is over and my little one now goes to see her father every other weekend. The judge did specify "no alcohol in the presence of R". That is a great rule and keeps things in check when she is with her father. I'm doing ok with it. The first weekend was really hard--I just cried and cried. But, now, I accept it--even though I don't like giving up my time with her.
A friend once told me that eventually his social life would take precedence over visitation with his daughter. Well, it has already begun. He did not pick her up Friday night...he told me it was because he was tired, but I know better. When he asked if I could keep her Friday night I was happy and told him I'd love to keep her. I don't care what his reasons are, it's more time I get with her. He picked her up Sat and then his mom babysat Sunday while he went golfing from noon until I picked her up @ 4.
I'm focusing on the positive.
The relationship is going well....
I'll be in the U.P. and WI next week with my mom. She is going to the hospital in Green Bay WI so they can see if there is blockage in her heart.....
I should have plenty of time next week for posting....and refection......
Friday, April 18, 2008
Deliverance! I gave it to God
How long has it been since I wrote the visitation post? Within one week of that post (maybe 2), I ended up calling J to see if he'd work with me on the visitation schedule because I thought I was going to have to work out of town, so I would need his help.
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He said, "of course, I'll do anything to help you. All I ever wanted to do is make life easier on you. All we need to be concerned with is our daughter."
BLAH BLAH BLAH....
He had temporarily convinced me that he had changed. He sounded like his counseling was working, he was talking sensibly and making sense. He was also communicating on an emotional--feelings based level. You don't see this much w/ J. But, this is how he does it. This is how he lures them in. He lures them in by talking in exactly this manner--he talks about all of the feelings he has, and how much hope he has for the future.
Meanwhile, he's saying the same things to 2 or 3 different women seeing which one he can get into his bed first. I'm sure he's telling the X girlfriend (who's also an alcoholic) that he's just trying to keep me on his good side so he can see his daughter. He's telling me that it's just not there with her and that she's an alcoholic. I'm sure there are others.
I stayed true to myself. I told him he needs to work on himself. I told him I really like P and I am not going to mess this up again. We agreed there would probably always be feelings there, but we are not good for each other. Any time I started to feel sorry for him (because according to him, he'd do anything to have his family back), I'd remind myself of what type of life I "could" have vs the type I would have had with him. I quickly reminded myself that I did not want that life (meaning bars, restaurants, snowmobiles, swearing, uneducated rednecks, drinking, psychotic family, money problems, alcoholic roller coasters--the list goes on and on). I left him to give my daughter a better life--but now, there is no part of me that could ever go back. EVER.
After talking with him regularly for a couple of weeks, I am thanking God. He has delivered me from the control this man used to have over me. He HAS!
I now realize that I can only believe about 50% of what he says. I can see right through his lies. Sometimes I call him on it. Sometimes I don't. I don't really care and don't want to get caught up in the drama. He knows I don't believe him. I've detached. Slowly but surely....but, I'm still building a custody case so, have you heard the phrase about keeping your enemies in your pocket or wallet or whatever, you get the point...
On New Years Eve I asked the Lord to deliver me from this man. I asked him to PLEASE give me "the eyes to see". On January 1, 2008, I was delivered from this evil man. He no longer has control over me. He no longer manipulates me. My eyes have been opened. I can now see through the lies, and I can honestly say that my heart no longer aches for him.
PRAISE GOD!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!
I was afraid to be his friend. I was afraid of getting sucked back in. I no longer think that is possible. What a relief! Now, hopefully, we can communicate openly about our daughter and be working together rather than against each other.
P.S. The more I talked to him, the more I saw his true colors. The more I saw that he was telling me what I wanted to hear. He IS still drinking. He can only hide it so long. His communication skills have improved, but you can't take a drunk and make him into a healthy person. It's just not possible.
He still goes to all of the same places for dinner (bars).
He still goes for fish.
He still goes and watches basketball at the bars.
He still wants to go to baseball games and concerts.
He still watches NASCAR (yuck!)
He doesn't do these things without drinking.
I am SO glad I've begun to build a new life for myself. I told him the other night that someday I'll have someone in my life to run with me and train for events with. I'll have someone to go out of town with for these events and support me doing what I love. It felt good to have the confidence to say this and believe it with my whole heart.
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I have a friend who has used this phrase
"eventually everyone tells on himself" she was right.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He said, "of course, I'll do anything to help you. All I ever wanted to do is make life easier on you. All we need to be concerned with is our daughter."
BLAH BLAH BLAH....
He had temporarily convinced me that he had changed. He sounded like his counseling was working, he was talking sensibly and making sense. He was also communicating on an emotional--feelings based level. You don't see this much w/ J. But, this is how he does it. This is how he lures them in. He lures them in by talking in exactly this manner--he talks about all of the feelings he has, and how much hope he has for the future.
Meanwhile, he's saying the same things to 2 or 3 different women seeing which one he can get into his bed first. I'm sure he's telling the X girlfriend (who's also an alcoholic) that he's just trying to keep me on his good side so he can see his daughter. He's telling me that it's just not there with her and that she's an alcoholic. I'm sure there are others.
I stayed true to myself. I told him he needs to work on himself. I told him I really like P and I am not going to mess this up again. We agreed there would probably always be feelings there, but we are not good for each other. Any time I started to feel sorry for him (because according to him, he'd do anything to have his family back), I'd remind myself of what type of life I "could" have vs the type I would have had with him. I quickly reminded myself that I did not want that life (meaning bars, restaurants, snowmobiles, swearing, uneducated rednecks, drinking, psychotic family, money problems, alcoholic roller coasters--the list goes on and on). I left him to give my daughter a better life--but now, there is no part of me that could ever go back. EVER.
After talking with him regularly for a couple of weeks, I am thanking God. He has delivered me from the control this man used to have over me. He HAS!
I now realize that I can only believe about 50% of what he says. I can see right through his lies. Sometimes I call him on it. Sometimes I don't. I don't really care and don't want to get caught up in the drama. He knows I don't believe him. I've detached. Slowly but surely....but, I'm still building a custody case so, have you heard the phrase about keeping your enemies in your pocket or wallet or whatever, you get the point...
On New Years Eve I asked the Lord to deliver me from this man. I asked him to PLEASE give me "the eyes to see". On January 1, 2008, I was delivered from this evil man. He no longer has control over me. He no longer manipulates me. My eyes have been opened. I can now see through the lies, and I can honestly say that my heart no longer aches for him.
PRAISE GOD!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!
I was afraid to be his friend. I was afraid of getting sucked back in. I no longer think that is possible. What a relief! Now, hopefully, we can communicate openly about our daughter and be working together rather than against each other.
P.S. The more I talked to him, the more I saw his true colors. The more I saw that he was telling me what I wanted to hear. He IS still drinking. He can only hide it so long. His communication skills have improved, but you can't take a drunk and make him into a healthy person. It's just not possible.
He still goes to all of the same places for dinner (bars).
He still goes for fish.
He still goes and watches basketball at the bars.
He still wants to go to baseball games and concerts.
He still watches NASCAR (yuck!)
He doesn't do these things without drinking.
I am SO glad I've begun to build a new life for myself. I told him the other night that someday I'll have someone in my life to run with me and train for events with. I'll have someone to go out of town with for these events and support me doing what I love. It felt good to have the confidence to say this and believe it with my whole heart.
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I have a friend who has used this phrase
"eventually everyone tells on himself" she was right.
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Sunday, March 30, 2008
What is it like?
Joe posted this from a book for the weekend Al-Anon meeting. His link is to the left called Just for Today. Visit it, it's GREAT! And, for those of you who aren't familiar with how Al-Anon works, the comments are what helps us all. A topic is decided for a weekend meeting and it's put out there, then it's every ones' comments that help everyone to learn and cope.
This struck me as odd--because these quotes are written by people who grew up in alcoholic homes. I can relate with a lot of this, but I didn't grow up in an alcoholic home. A lot of these words are me...
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"What is it like? It's unremitting fear - fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of being known - a constant, nagging fear that never goes away."It's lonely. It's wanting so desperately to be a part, yet pushing people so far away I couldn't possibly be connected. It's isolating myself and then being the outsider looking in and never fitting in. I'm often ashamed. I'm afraid to lose the only people who say they love me. I'm afraid they won't come back, and then I'm afraid they will. It's confusing. People say they love me and then they hurt me. In my gut, I know something is wrong, but I'm told I overreact or I'm too sensitive. So I learn to not trust my instincts.
"It's being needy. It's being convinced I am loved and unlovable. It's needing to hear over and over, "You're wonderful!" yet never believing it. So I always need to hear it again, and it's still not enough. It's feeling that I am not enough. It's having to do for others so that I can earn their love, yet feeling that what I give is never enough."
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These are the voices of children and adults living in an alcoholic environment,This is where we comment on the affects of what is happening in our homes or what has happened in our homes. And how can we try to tell someone who has never been through this?Please comment on the topic or comment if you have a burning desire.
posted by Joe at 5:07 PM on Mar 28, 2008
I was going to highlight the phrases in red that pertained to me. I just looked and realized that the whole thing is red! It's crazy! I really wonder if my mother grew up in an alcoholic family and she parented the same way. I really wonder.....I have no other explanation for feeling this way. Except for....
This struck me as odd--because these quotes are written by people who grew up in alcoholic homes. I can relate with a lot of this, but I didn't grow up in an alcoholic home. A lot of these words are me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What is it like? It's unremitting fear - fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of being known - a constant, nagging fear that never goes away."It's lonely. It's wanting so desperately to be a part, yet pushing people so far away I couldn't possibly be connected. It's isolating myself and then being the outsider looking in and never fitting in. I'm often ashamed. I'm afraid to lose the only people who say they love me. I'm afraid they won't come back, and then I'm afraid they will. It's confusing. People say they love me and then they hurt me. In my gut, I know something is wrong, but I'm told I overreact or I'm too sensitive. So I learn to not trust my instincts.
"It's being needy. It's being convinced I am loved and unlovable. It's needing to hear over and over, "You're wonderful!" yet never believing it. So I always need to hear it again, and it's still not enough. It's feeling that I am not enough. It's having to do for others so that I can earn their love, yet feeling that what I give is never enough."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are the voices of children and adults living in an alcoholic environment,This is where we comment on the affects of what is happening in our homes or what has happened in our homes. And how can we try to tell someone who has never been through this?Please comment on the topic or comment if you have a burning desire.
posted by Joe at 5:07 PM on Mar 28, 2008
I was going to highlight the phrases in red that pertained to me. I just looked and realized that the whole thing is red! It's crazy! I really wonder if my mother grew up in an alcoholic family and she parented the same way. I really wonder.....I have no other explanation for feeling this way. Except for....
When I was 13 years old I found out the man whom I had known as my father really wasn't my father. My biological father lived 20 miles away. I was told that he denied that I was his daughter, and that he had told his family that he had blood work done and that I was not his daughter. Of course this was a lie and I was crushed. What was so wrong with me? I remember sinking into this depression and crying and then hardening my heart as each day went on so no one could see my pain. I didn't want anyone to know I was depressed and this nagged at me every single day. This was an impressionable age. This is the time you need confidence! I had none! I didn't know who I was--all I knew is that if I was "good enough" maybe he'd want to be my father.
His wife set up dinner for us one night. I was SO nervous! I went to my friend Tricia's house to find the perfect outfit. My parents didn't have any money for the cool clothes, so, I borrowed them. This is very important to a 13 year old. (Heck it's still important. The way I dress even now determines my confidence.) So, his wife picked me up after school and took me to their house. I played with my 1/2 brother for the first time. He was still in diapers and we played with a mini basketball and basketball hoop. My step-mother made dinner and tried to get to know me. I was on pins and needles waiting for my "father" to come home. Soon it was 7 pm...eventually, we gave up on him and ate. At some point, I remember he called and she reminded him that I was there. Then it was 8, then 9 and then...who knows. He stopped at the bar after work knowing full well that I was there. He didn't get there until around 10 o'clock. This was a school night! I visited with him for 15-20 minutes and then SHE brought me home. I was disappointed and let down and exhausted.
Now, looking back I know this...
- He went to the bar because he's an alcoholic.
- The alcoholic will choose the alcohol over everything.
- He went to the bar to cope???
- She had to drive me home because he was drunk.
And people wonder why I hate what alcohol does to people? I did not see him again until almost 10 years later. He went on with his life. I spent the next 5,6,7,8 years crying myself to sleep some nights wondering "why wasn't I good enough?" "why didn't he care enough?" "surely if he'd get to know me, he'd like me--I would make sure he liked me".......I replayed that night in my head over and over again.
Interestingly enough I have had trust issues with men ever since. I usually pick the losers, and this last time I EVEN CHOSE AN ALCOHOLIC. UGH! (there are psychologists that would have a field day w/ this subject) It disgusts me to even think about it. I HATE ALCOHOLISM. I hate that it's a family disease. I hate how it infects the ENTIRE family. One person's drinking screws up the entire family.
I feel sorry for my 1/2 brother. He had to grow up the child of an alcoholic. Luckily he won't become an alcoholic, he chose a different road. I now look back and am thankful that I was raised in a family without active drinking. I cannot imagine growing up with active alcoholism in my entire life. I've got my issues and I will always resent the disease. ALWAYS--for the pain it has caused and the lives it has ruined. But, I cannot blame my past for my issues anymore, it's time to acknowledge them, take responsibility for them, and work past them. I need to heal from all of this if I"m ever going to live a happy healthy life. I also need to heal from all of this so I can show my daughter how to be a happy healthy individual.
Al-Anon teaches me to hate the disease and not the alcoholic. The disease is cunning and baffling. Al-Anon has also taught me that I did not cause it, I cannot control it, and I cannot cure it. But, I CAN set boundaries for myself and my daughter. I can detach, and I can go on without feeling like a victim. All I can do is work on myself.
The Whole Package
This weekend I asked P where things stand with us. Are we exclusive? Are we dating? Are we just friends? What are we?
He told me he has a plan for his future and he's not sure about the logistics. I have a job, and I have a small child. He's not sure about how we can fit into his plan for the future. Part of me thinks he's thinking too much rather than "just being". We had a nice time last summer, and we had two great visits this winter. But, he's a bit overwhelmed with all of the dedication a small child takes. I told him to wait until he comes here for the summer and see how things go--he can take or leave the chaos of us.
His thoughts on that are--that's not reality...that's not real life.
No, that's not real life, but that allows him to adjust gradually rather than throwing all of this at him at once. I have a couple thoughts I haven't expressed to him yet...
1. Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.
2. He knew when he met me that I was a package deal--at no point did I hide the fact that I had a child. So, why now? Why wasn't this thought about before hearts got involved?
3. If someone would have spelled out to me everything that was going to change in my life as a result of having a child--I would've freaked out! I may not have wanted a child! But, now that I have her and know her and love her, I wouldn't change it for the world. Life without a child would be so empty and cold and grey. But, looking in from the outside, I guess it could be overwhelming.
I guess, at some point I need to have these conversations. Someone said to me once, either you're a family person or your not. There's no thinking about it.
Does anybody think that's true? Is it that cut and dry?
Is it possible he is just very cautious and has to have a plan?
I feel that if he does decide we are what he wants, he's in it for the long haul...but he's very cautious in this decision.
Part of me says be patient and see what he comes up with--he's worth the wait. (and the feeling of vulnerability)
The other part of me says it shouldn't be this hard. Bye bye now.
I never want to wonder "what if...." , so, for now I will wait.
He told me he has a plan for his future and he's not sure about the logistics. I have a job, and I have a small child. He's not sure about how we can fit into his plan for the future. Part of me thinks he's thinking too much rather than "just being". We had a nice time last summer, and we had two great visits this winter. But, he's a bit overwhelmed with all of the dedication a small child takes. I told him to wait until he comes here for the summer and see how things go--he can take or leave the chaos of us.
His thoughts on that are--that's not reality...that's not real life.
No, that's not real life, but that allows him to adjust gradually rather than throwing all of this at him at once. I have a couple thoughts I haven't expressed to him yet...
1. Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.
2. He knew when he met me that I was a package deal--at no point did I hide the fact that I had a child. So, why now? Why wasn't this thought about before hearts got involved?
3. If someone would have spelled out to me everything that was going to change in my life as a result of having a child--I would've freaked out! I may not have wanted a child! But, now that I have her and know her and love her, I wouldn't change it for the world. Life without a child would be so empty and cold and grey. But, looking in from the outside, I guess it could be overwhelming.
I guess, at some point I need to have these conversations. Someone said to me once, either you're a family person or your not. There's no thinking about it.
Does anybody think that's true? Is it that cut and dry?
Is it possible he is just very cautious and has to have a plan?
I feel that if he does decide we are what he wants, he's in it for the long haul...but he's very cautious in this decision.
Part of me says be patient and see what he comes up with--he's worth the wait. (and the feeling of vulnerability)
The other part of me says it shouldn't be this hard. Bye bye now.
I never want to wonder "what if...." , so, for now I will wait.
Visitation--the Update
This past week there was a hearing at the court for visitation with my daughter and her father. Some rules were put in place, and they were the rules I've made from the beginning.
- No alcohol to be consumed by anyone in the presence of her. The referee agreed with me--her father should be able to control the environment his daughter is in. So, not only can he not drink in front of her, or before having her, but, nobody is allow to drink in her presence.
- He can see her for 4 hours on Saturday and for 3 hours on Wednesday
- No girlfriend around when he has visitation with her. The will eliminate the chance of this little girl having to witness verbal and physical abuse.
These are all things I wanted to see happen from the beginning of our separation. I have hope in the court system. So far, this has shown me they really are looking out for the best interest of the child. These rules will remain until the hearing in a few months, or we go to mediation and agree on our own plan through the friend of the court.
Also, I got a letter from the Friend of the Court yesterday and his child support was set. They came up with a number much higher than I had. If he had only cooperated with me in the beginning, it could have saved all of this formality. I am comfortable with this formality. This has helped me to see that I was NOT asking too much. I was not asking too much in the area of support or what I feel is a safe and healthy environment for my daughter.
Thank you God--the night before court I had a sense of peace. This was the same calmness I had the night before I went to court for the abuse. It was a feeling that everything was going to be alright. I keep thinking about the Serenity prayer. .God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I feel my Higher Power came through for me and has helped me to grow in the process. Thank you God!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Discovering the REAL Meaning of Self-Worth
In my journey of rediscovering myself, I'm really looking at some of the patterns I have. In looking at some of my patterns, I have tried to figure out what causes these patterns. I think defining my self-worth according to what other people think is something I've always struggled with. I've always been on this "performance treadmill". Performance treadmill means I try to do everything right--and gain the approval of others. When I was in school, it was about wearing all of the right clothes, and making the most friends. In my adult life, it's crept into many areas of my life. At one point, I had to drive a new vehicle, I had to have all of the toys, I had to have the hottest boyfriend, I had to have the "perfect" job, I had to always act perfect. OK, lets start with acting perfect.
This caused me to lose myself. This caused me to change according to the people I was around. It caused me to define myself according to what the church said I should be. I thought this was great, because now, I had a list of guidelines to go by. The problem is, we are all sinners, so perfection cannot be reached. I constantly felt like I wasn't good enough, but if I strive a little harder, maybe I could achieve perfection. I left the church because I didn't feel I could achieve perfection, and I didn't want to be one of those hypocrites out there that everyone makes the excuse about why they don't go to church.
I have admitted, I am not perfect. But, I still have a huge issue with not feeling like I measure up. I seem to do OK with this as long as I'm living my life "perfectly". That means I do everything right...I'm a mom now, so I don't go out, I don't drink too much, I don't flirt, I don't swear, I need to be a good person, I need to set an example. Right?!?!?!
Well, yes, that is how I want to raise my daughter, so that's the example I need to be. Right?!?!!? Right, only if I want to raise my daughter to be just like me. Right, only if I want to raise my daughter to always be on a perfectionist's treadmill. No, I don't want my daughter's self worth to be dependent of the acceptance of others. I don't want my daughter to feel like she's good enough only when she's measuring up to every ones standards.
These quotes in italics are copied from Joe's site--this really spoke to me. http://alanondiary.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-we-see-ourselves.html
This is a passage from Dr. Robert Anthony:
How you see yourself creates your behavior, and this behavior creates your environment or your results.
I agree with this. Law of Attraction thoughts--I am what I feel and I will attract exactly that.
I need to see myself as a person I love unconditionally. I must love myself so much just because of who I am right now. Not after I drop 10 pounds, or learn proper grammar, or get my head together, or get out of debt, or learn enough about parenting, not because of accomplishments, but because of who I am right now.
When you attach your self-worth to your accomplishments or to your behavior, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. No matter how hard you try, someone is going to think you're not okay.
This is SO true. I think in the past, I've put walls up around people who I did not get acceptance from, OR I would strive to meet their expectations, changing my values and beliefs to meet theirs. It was usually the later.
This is how I got caught up in the life of an abusive alcoholic. He was great at telling me what was wrong with me. I did NOT stand strong in what I knew and believed. I did not stand strong in myself. I was too easily swayed to think that what he was telling me was gospel, and if I wasn't all about that--then there was something wrong with me. I think my inner being tells me what works and what doesn't. If I listen, my heart will tell me. I just need to listen to it--and feel every feeling it gives us. I remember so much uneasiness, I just tried to push it aside. Now, I look back, if only I would've been true to myself.
I also think a part of me didn't completely know myself. I think when we are with someone abusive who will not let us grow and learn and explore, we really realize after we are "free" what's important to us and I need to set specific guidelines for the "must haves" in my life from now on. These are MY expectations and I will not let them be swayed by anyone.
Take a look at how much of your life is about winning approval and realize this important truth: You'll never get it. You simply can't please everyone, so learn to please yourself and find relish in the person you are.
I don't think I ever thought about that until now. I can't please everyone? Why not? I CAN'T? Well, maybe if I just try harder...or do things a different way....NO, YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE. YOU DON'T NEED TO PLEASE ANYONE. I guess I need to let go of the "why not" and figure out how to only be concerned with pleasing myself--and loving the person I am. I have to not NOT worry about what others think. Maybe reading these books will help me with that. I'll keep you posted....
I'm not sure how to do that yet, but I will continue to think about it. I realize now that my "self-worth depended on the acceptance and approval of others. That's discovery!!!
GOAL: Only care about what I think/want--and to not care or worry about what others will think.
This caused me to lose myself. This caused me to change according to the people I was around. It caused me to define myself according to what the church said I should be. I thought this was great, because now, I had a list of guidelines to go by. The problem is, we are all sinners, so perfection cannot be reached. I constantly felt like I wasn't good enough, but if I strive a little harder, maybe I could achieve perfection. I left the church because I didn't feel I could achieve perfection, and I didn't want to be one of those hypocrites out there that everyone makes the excuse about why they don't go to church.
I have admitted, I am not perfect. But, I still have a huge issue with not feeling like I measure up. I seem to do OK with this as long as I'm living my life "perfectly". That means I do everything right...I'm a mom now, so I don't go out, I don't drink too much, I don't flirt, I don't swear, I need to be a good person, I need to set an example. Right?!?!?!
Well, yes, that is how I want to raise my daughter, so that's the example I need to be. Right?!?!!? Right, only if I want to raise my daughter to be just like me. Right, only if I want to raise my daughter to always be on a perfectionist's treadmill. No, I don't want my daughter's self worth to be dependent of the acceptance of others. I don't want my daughter to feel like she's good enough only when she's measuring up to every ones standards.
These quotes in italics are copied from Joe's site--this really spoke to me. http://alanondiary.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-we-see-ourselves.html
This is a passage from Dr. Robert Anthony:
How you see yourself creates your behavior, and this behavior creates your environment or your results.
I agree with this. Law of Attraction thoughts--I am what I feel and I will attract exactly that.
I need to see myself as a person I love unconditionally. I must love myself so much just because of who I am right now. Not after I drop 10 pounds, or learn proper grammar, or get my head together, or get out of debt, or learn enough about parenting, not because of accomplishments, but because of who I am right now.
When you attach your self-worth to your accomplishments or to your behavior, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. No matter how hard you try, someone is going to think you're not okay.
This is SO true. I think in the past, I've put walls up around people who I did not get acceptance from, OR I would strive to meet their expectations, changing my values and beliefs to meet theirs. It was usually the later.
This is how I got caught up in the life of an abusive alcoholic. He was great at telling me what was wrong with me. I did NOT stand strong in what I knew and believed. I did not stand strong in myself. I was too easily swayed to think that what he was telling me was gospel, and if I wasn't all about that--then there was something wrong with me. I think my inner being tells me what works and what doesn't. If I listen, my heart will tell me. I just need to listen to it--and feel every feeling it gives us. I remember so much uneasiness, I just tried to push it aside. Now, I look back, if only I would've been true to myself.
I also think a part of me didn't completely know myself. I think when we are with someone abusive who will not let us grow and learn and explore, we really realize after we are "free" what's important to us and I need to set specific guidelines for the "must haves" in my life from now on. These are MY expectations and I will not let them be swayed by anyone.
- Food--what I put in my body is very important.
- Exercise--I will never settle for a lifestyle that doesn't involve health and fitness.
- A Healthy Mind--a mind that is always learning and growing on all levels. I think the mind needs to continue to grow Spiritually, Emotionally, and Intellectually. You know the saying, use it or lose it.
- Financial Stability--it is exactly what it is
- Healthy Relationships with Healthy Communication--I think communication is the key to so much in life. There is so much to be said about great conversations. Great conversations are needed for our emotional well being. Relationships are essential to everyone--friendships, common interests, common beliefs, family
- Spirituality--that may be ever changing for me, or maybe the picture has just broadened. I believe I will always need spirituality in my life however it may be defined.
- FAMILY--I didn't put it on here until now, because that was just a given. My daughter's well being and best interests will always play a major role.
Take a look at how much of your life is about winning approval and realize this important truth: You'll never get it. You simply can't please everyone, so learn to please yourself and find relish in the person you are.
I don't think I ever thought about that until now. I can't please everyone? Why not? I CAN'T? Well, maybe if I just try harder...or do things a different way....NO, YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE. YOU DON'T NEED TO PLEASE ANYONE. I guess I need to let go of the "why not" and figure out how to only be concerned with pleasing myself--and loving the person I am. I have to not NOT worry about what others think. Maybe reading these books will help me with that. I'll keep you posted....
I'm not sure how to do that yet, but I will continue to think about it. I realize now that my "self-worth depended on the acceptance and approval of others. That's discovery!!!
GOAL: Only care about what I think/want--and to not care or worry about what others will think.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Are We There Yet?
Well, I wrote that the next post would be positive, and about the Journey....sorry, it's been a day, and I don't have the energy. Sometimes, I just get tired of this journey....just tired.....and I wish I was headed someplace warm and sunny and never coming back. :-)
The meeting last week was on trust.
What does trust mean to me?
I have issues with trust. Initially, I trust everyone and maybe this is a fault. It makes me appear naive and gullible. I guess I could have worse faults? I trusted that J would change--that's why I put him on the birth certificate.
While thinking about trust, this is the conclusion I've come to. It's in my nature to trust instantly until someone gives me a reason not to trust. Because of things that have happened in my life, the trust doesn't run deep. I think I trust that people are good people and have no ill will, so, on the surface everyone is trustworthy. But, as time goes on, people have hurt me deeply. People who I've considered trustworthy have not been. People who I have trusted with my heart have broken it.
The meeting last week was on trust.
What does trust mean to me?
I have issues with trust. Initially, I trust everyone and maybe this is a fault. It makes me appear naive and gullible. I guess I could have worse faults? I trusted that J would change--that's why I put him on the birth certificate.
While thinking about trust, this is the conclusion I've come to. It's in my nature to trust instantly until someone gives me a reason not to trust. Because of things that have happened in my life, the trust doesn't run deep. I think I trust that people are good people and have no ill will, so, on the surface everyone is trustworthy. But, as time goes on, people have hurt me deeply. People who I've considered trustworthy have not been. People who I have trusted with my heart have broken it.
I'm really in a funk today, I left the father of my child to protect her. And, now a court is going to force me to let him have visitation with her. What is wrong with our system? I can tell you, this is what's wrong with out society today. Children need to feel safe. They need safety, structure and stability in their lives. He can provide NONE of that. I strive to provide that in her life EACH AND EVERY DAY. Children feel stress when they are lacking one/some of their essential needs. IE. SAFETY, SECURITY, FOOD, SLEEP, STABILITY, STRUCTURE.
As I interact with this child who is so perfect, and watch how easily she trusts, and her innocence. I hope and pray that she has forgotten the yelling and screaming, and beatings she has witnessed. I don't know how long it will take to forgive myself for EVER letting her witness those things. My heart cringes at what he will do to this innocent little soul.
His swearing and obnoxiousness and anger will pollute her mind and her soul. I cringe to think of the possibility of her coming home with new words that should not even be spoken around this little her. Her vocabulary is so new and so pure. She is so pure and is radiates with love and warmth and happiness that only a child in a safe, trusting, happy environment kn. Her father is a drunk. He's a manipulative, sick abusive drunk. Even when he's sober, he's a dry drunk. And, now, that bastard is going to pollute the mind and heart of this innocent little girl.
I'm really struggling with this. I'm struggling to remain positive and hopeful. I hope I can find some peace with this somewhere along the way. And, I hope he gets what he deserves--that is NOT this innocent little girl.
We also talked about the how trust and expectations are related. Trust can be broken when certain expectations are not met.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
It's about the Journey
I was reading on this last night http://http//joy2meu.com/Fear.html and got into Thom's pages--and he really had very good thoughts on codependency and the power of healing. He's a therapist, and has written a lot on these subjects. I learned so much in the small time I read, and I can't wait to go back and read more when I'm not half asleep. Below is something I learned from his insight.
Healing is not about the destination "being healed", it's about the journey of healing. It's the process that teaches us so much. We need to learn to live in the present--not the past, and not the future. Society teaches us to think, I'll just be happy when.... What about right now, don't focus on the past, don't focus on the future, but appreciate what we are going through right at this moment. We are right where we need to be!!!
I've been on this sugar binge lately and I'm wondering if it's "emotional eating" or hormones or what. I'm going tomorrow to find out and get some help getting off sugar. While reading this and thinking about my sugar issue, I began to link the two; people with addictive personalities are feeling an emptiness in their soul. They look to fill this emptiness with something--typically we reach outward looking to relationships, alcohol, drugs, people and even food.
This reminds me of the the Sex and the City episode where Miranda gives up Sex and replaces it with chocolate. I just saw that episode a couple of weeks ago--and really laughed when she kept going back for MORE cake, and MORE cake and eventually ate the entire thing. That's me!!!!
I've not only given up sex, but I've also given up having a man in my life on a regular basis. I'm really adjusting well to life with no roller coasters, and I ENJOY being single. But, is it bad to want to share all of me with someone? Is it wrong to want to share our lives (my daughter and I) with someone? I have so much fun with her, I wish I had someone to laugh with, and share these times with, and cherish every moment. Is that wrong? But, I need to appreciate the NOW. I have my alone time with her now for a reason. She doesn't have to share me with anyone and vise versa. We are right where we need to be.
I'm a mom and much like Miranda I've replaced the man, and the alcohol with sugar--and any other food that's not good for me. I read last night, that usually people who are missing something in their soul look outwardly to fill that spot. I'm realizing now though, that in my journey I'm going to 300 lbs if I don't replace the food with someone that'll actually fill that emptiness in my soul (with zero calories). I cannot do it with people (although friends are good to have, and help us though our journey), I cannot do it with alcohol, or material, or food. I need to really search within myself to find out what it is that's causing me to feel discontent, and find a way to create harmony within my entire being.
Discontent
1. Court coming up for visitation
2. P in my life. Uncertainty is scary
3. Money (just until I get my emergency fund built up)
4. Work issues
The next post will involve bringing harmony to my life in spite of these issues. I will need a plan for these issues also, and if I'm integrating the Law of Attraction, they'll need to be all about what I would like to see happen.
Here's my daily quote from Abraham-Hicks
There is no risk for you. When you come to understand the true nature of Well-being in which you have come forth--then you can relax and begin to enjoy this magnificent adventure which is your creative life experience. We are not here to guide the specifics of that which you choose. You get to choose that, and you can't get it wrong. We are here to assist you--only to assist you--in finding vibrational harmony with your desire; knowing that when you find vibrational harmony with your desire, you are, in this moment, a joyful Being. And that is our dominant wish for you
Healing is not about the destination "being healed", it's about the journey of healing. It's the process that teaches us so much. We need to learn to live in the present--not the past, and not the future. Society teaches us to think, I'll just be happy when.... What about right now, don't focus on the past, don't focus on the future, but appreciate what we are going through right at this moment. We are right where we need to be!!!
I've been on this sugar binge lately and I'm wondering if it's "emotional eating" or hormones or what. I'm going tomorrow to find out and get some help getting off sugar. While reading this and thinking about my sugar issue, I began to link the two; people with addictive personalities are feeling an emptiness in their soul. They look to fill this emptiness with something--typically we reach outward looking to relationships, alcohol, drugs, people and even food.
This reminds me of the the Sex and the City episode where Miranda gives up Sex and replaces it with chocolate. I just saw that episode a couple of weeks ago--and really laughed when she kept going back for MORE cake, and MORE cake and eventually ate the entire thing. That's me!!!!
I've not only given up sex, but I've also given up having a man in my life on a regular basis. I'm really adjusting well to life with no roller coasters, and I ENJOY being single. But, is it bad to want to share all of me with someone? Is it wrong to want to share our lives (my daughter and I) with someone? I have so much fun with her, I wish I had someone to laugh with, and share these times with, and cherish every moment. Is that wrong? But, I need to appreciate the NOW. I have my alone time with her now for a reason. She doesn't have to share me with anyone and vise versa. We are right where we need to be.
I'm a mom and much like Miranda I've replaced the man, and the alcohol with sugar--and any other food that's not good for me. I read last night, that usually people who are missing something in their soul look outwardly to fill that spot. I'm realizing now though, that in my journey I'm going to 300 lbs if I don't replace the food with someone that'll actually fill that emptiness in my soul (with zero calories). I cannot do it with people (although friends are good to have, and help us though our journey), I cannot do it with alcohol, or material, or food. I need to really search within myself to find out what it is that's causing me to feel discontent, and find a way to create harmony within my entire being.
Discontent
1. Court coming up for visitation
2. P in my life. Uncertainty is scary
3. Money (just until I get my emergency fund built up)
4. Work issues
The next post will involve bringing harmony to my life in spite of these issues. I will need a plan for these issues also, and if I'm integrating the Law of Attraction, they'll need to be all about what I would like to see happen.
Here's my daily quote from Abraham-Hicks
There is no risk for you. When you come to understand the true nature of Well-being in which you have come forth--then you can relax and begin to enjoy this magnificent adventure which is your creative life experience. We are not here to guide the specifics of that which you choose. You get to choose that, and you can't get it wrong. We are here to assist you--only to assist you--in finding vibrational harmony with your desire; knowing that when you find vibrational harmony with your desire, you are, in this moment, a joyful Being. And that is our dominant wish for you
Saturday, March 8, 2008
To Be or Not to Be--A Vibrational Match
"These beings, that are acting out in those ways that you find so awful, are tormented and suffering in ways that you will not understand. Their horrible acts are extensions of that pain. We also have to say to you -- no one who is not a vibrational match to that could be their victim."--- Abraham
This quote was worth saving and coming back to. I copied it from my Detachment post because I was reminded of it. Looking back at the thoughts this quote provoked then and the thoughts now shows me that I've made progress in the healing process. In addition to healing, I think a substantial amount of growth has taken place.
Here are the thoughts I now have after reading this quote.
Because of my codependency--I was attracted to my qualifier (the alcoholic). It was because of these issues that I had gotten into that mess in the first place. I wasn't even aware of what the meaning of codependency was until I started attending Al-Anon meetings. Had I known, I might have seen how unhealthy my thinking was and how unhealthy he was for me. But, I wasn't aware then; boy, am I aware now.
I was sick, not in the same way as the alcoholic, but I'm sure the vibrations were a match. He was needy and I loved to feel needed. The fact that he needed someone to help him keep his life together made me feel good about myself. I think we, as women are taught that this is our role; it's our job to take care of everyone else. Someone who was so needy made me feel like I had worth. Boy, did I have the definition of self-worth wrong. I forgot about that "self" part. Now, I know the meaning of self worth. That will be a post all by itself.
As painful as the memories may be, the key here is to recognize how I got there and the patterns that led up to it. By acknowledging this and learning from it, I can prevent the pattern from continuing. So, by changing MY vibrations (ie. getting MY LIFE and MY HEAD together) I take back that power. We attract vibrations similar to our own. I am no longer the victim.
I remember a conversation with my counselor months ago about how scary it seemed to date a man who doesn't need me for anything. It seemed so foreign and just the thought terrified me! This was the reason I kept going back. This was the reason I felt security with the alcoholic. What guarantee would I have with a man who had it so together that he didn't depend on me for anything? Why would he want to be with me and what would keep him there?
Acknowledging these deep down thoughts that many people feel, but are ashamed to admit was the very first step in my recovery. This was a huge revelation to me. I no longer want anyone to need me. I want (notice I said want and not need) someone in my life who is whole all by them self. I want someone in my life because they "want" to be there. Then, and only then, will we both be there for the right reasons. So, because I am "whole" on my own, I can and will attract the same. This way of thinking is so refreshing! Oh--and, what would keep him there? I'm a pretty fun person, as well as attractive, intellegent, stable, independent, kind, loving person, and the more comfortable I become with someone, the more fun I become! Why wouldn't he want to stay????
God Bless!
This quote was worth saving and coming back to. I copied it from my Detachment post because I was reminded of it. Looking back at the thoughts this quote provoked then and the thoughts now shows me that I've made progress in the healing process. In addition to healing, I think a substantial amount of growth has taken place.
Here are the thoughts I now have after reading this quote.
Because of my codependency--I was attracted to my qualifier (the alcoholic). It was because of these issues that I had gotten into that mess in the first place. I wasn't even aware of what the meaning of codependency was until I started attending Al-Anon meetings. Had I known, I might have seen how unhealthy my thinking was and how unhealthy he was for me. But, I wasn't aware then; boy, am I aware now.
I was sick, not in the same way as the alcoholic, but I'm sure the vibrations were a match. He was needy and I loved to feel needed. The fact that he needed someone to help him keep his life together made me feel good about myself. I think we, as women are taught that this is our role; it's our job to take care of everyone else. Someone who was so needy made me feel like I had worth. Boy, did I have the definition of self-worth wrong. I forgot about that "self" part. Now, I know the meaning of self worth. That will be a post all by itself.
As painful as the memories may be, the key here is to recognize how I got there and the patterns that led up to it. By acknowledging this and learning from it, I can prevent the pattern from continuing. So, by changing MY vibrations (ie. getting MY LIFE and MY HEAD together) I take back that power. We attract vibrations similar to our own. I am no longer the victim.
I remember a conversation with my counselor months ago about how scary it seemed to date a man who doesn't need me for anything. It seemed so foreign and just the thought terrified me! This was the reason I kept going back. This was the reason I felt security with the alcoholic. What guarantee would I have with a man who had it so together that he didn't depend on me for anything? Why would he want to be with me and what would keep him there?
Acknowledging these deep down thoughts that many people feel, but are ashamed to admit was the very first step in my recovery. This was a huge revelation to me. I no longer want anyone to need me. I want (notice I said want and not need) someone in my life who is whole all by them self. I want someone in my life because they "want" to be there. Then, and only then, will we both be there for the right reasons. So, because I am "whole" on my own, I can and will attract the same. This way of thinking is so refreshing! Oh--and, what would keep him there? I'm a pretty fun person, as well as attractive, intellegent, stable, independent, kind, loving person, and the more comfortable I become with someone, the more fun I become! Why wouldn't he want to stay????
God Bless!
Instant manifestation
Here's the latest Abraham-Hicks Quote--I like it.
Be glad that you don't have instant manifestation. This buffer of time is really your friend. It's your opportunity to observe and to ponder and to visualize, and to remember. It's your opportunity to take an Emotional Journey that might be different from what you're actually observing.
Be glad that you don't have instant manifestation. This buffer of time is really your friend. It's your opportunity to observe and to ponder and to visualize, and to remember. It's your opportunity to take an Emotional Journey that might be different from what you're actually observing.
Friday, March 7, 2008
A Gift from God--With Bright Blue Eyes!!!!!
A man in my office told me today that my daughter is not my daughter, she is borrowed. She is but mearly a gift from God.
I knew that. He reminded me, but I knew that once; where does that fit into my new found beliefs. hmmmmm......While I was out for my run today on lunch, this is what I came up with...
I think when I forgot that she is a gift from God--I was looking at her and taking the credit for how healthy she is, and how clear her little mind is, and how vibrant she is, and how bright her big blue eyes shine, and I was taking credit for what a wonderful child she is--after all, I use only natural medicine, I ate right, and I took care of myself during my pregnancy, and in her 15 months of life, I have bought organic food, and not fed her meat and dairy, and researched the best possible diet for this little girl. She knows only whole foods. She has never eaten baby food, I've made all of her food and juice, and I make sure she's getting everything she needs nutritionally. I got her out of the abusive environment, and I have provided her with love, lots of love, stability, healthy people surrounding her, and structure. I did all of this--so aren't I the one that should be taking the credit? After all, I bathe her, put her to bed, get her up, make sure she has clean clothes, food, diapers, naps, childcare, I take care of this little girl and provide for her ALL BY MYSELF. So, shouldn't I be the one taking the credit for how wonderful she is????
Well, the more I thought about it, this is what I came to.... I think I've done what I've done w/ the knowledge the Lord has given me. I think my God who lives within me gave me this amazing child! He created her exactly as she is! There are so many things that could've gone wrong in this little miracle! He knows every hair on her head. He loves her as much as I do. He also loves ME that much--I believe that is why he gave me this child.
This God birthed all of the thoughts I've had that have taken me to the next step in educating myself to take the very best care of myself and this little girl. This God has given me the heart to love her more than I've ever loved in my life. At the same time, all of the doors he's opening, is making my life better. I owe it to God--for giving me this amazing gift. This amazing gift has helped me to grow and want so much more for "our" lives. Because I want so much more for my life--I will get so much more out of my life. Thank you God for all that you have provided.
I knew that. He reminded me, but I knew that once; where does that fit into my new found beliefs. hmmmmm......While I was out for my run today on lunch, this is what I came up with...
I think when I forgot that she is a gift from God--I was looking at her and taking the credit for how healthy she is, and how clear her little mind is, and how vibrant she is, and how bright her big blue eyes shine, and I was taking credit for what a wonderful child she is--after all, I use only natural medicine, I ate right, and I took care of myself during my pregnancy, and in her 15 months of life, I have bought organic food, and not fed her meat and dairy, and researched the best possible diet for this little girl. She knows only whole foods. She has never eaten baby food, I've made all of her food and juice, and I make sure she's getting everything she needs nutritionally. I got her out of the abusive environment, and I have provided her with love, lots of love, stability, healthy people surrounding her, and structure. I did all of this--so aren't I the one that should be taking the credit? After all, I bathe her, put her to bed, get her up, make sure she has clean clothes, food, diapers, naps, childcare, I take care of this little girl and provide for her ALL BY MYSELF. So, shouldn't I be the one taking the credit for how wonderful she is????
Well, the more I thought about it, this is what I came to.... I think I've done what I've done w/ the knowledge the Lord has given me. I think my God who lives within me gave me this amazing child! He created her exactly as she is! There are so many things that could've gone wrong in this little miracle! He knows every hair on her head. He loves her as much as I do. He also loves ME that much--I believe that is why he gave me this child.
This God birthed all of the thoughts I've had that have taken me to the next step in educating myself to take the very best care of myself and this little girl. This God has given me the heart to love her more than I've ever loved in my life. At the same time, all of the doors he's opening, is making my life better. I owe it to God--for giving me this amazing gift. This amazing gift has helped me to grow and want so much more for "our" lives. Because I want so much more for my life--I will get so much more out of my life. Thank you God for all that you have provided.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
More on God--what does my heart feel?
Which of the ideas fill me w/ a more joyous feeling? Well, the answer is obvious.
1) It allows me to let go of a God of judgement, and therefore, allows me to let go of judging myself and/or these feelings of not measuring up in the eyes of Christianity because I'm not living my life God's way. So, to let go of that, takes a huge weight off my shoulders!
2) Without judgement and stipulations, I'm more inclined to have a stronger relationship w/ this God who provides "unconditional love". Step 2 is about admitting that I need God to restore my sanity, but Step 3 is actually about making the decision to turn it over to God as we know Him. I think up until last night's meeting, I gave up turning anything over to God.
Now, I'm seeing that I may need to reconsider; who would I rather have a relationship with--a God who's love is conditional and full of judgement and has a very narrow view or picture for conformity? Or, is it a God who not only knows and wants all of my desires, but One who loves unconditionally? The answer to that is EASY! I want the unconditional love and acceptance for just being me.
3) It makes me feel like I have "control" of my life after all. I think turning my life over to Christianity caused me to just "go w/ the flow" rather than "lead" because I felt I would be "led" where I was meant to go. So, thinking about my life in terms of it being what I make it--is empowering. I can believe God is within us--that would explain my strength at times I didn't think I had the strength, and that would explain the words when I didn't have the words and the wisdom when I didn't know. God within us also explains peace, love, kindness and joy because God is all of these.
Now, maybe I had something screwed up with my belief system before, or maybe that's exactly what I was taught, but whatever the reason, my beliefs in the past have not really worked for the betterment of my life and my well being. So, I"m willing to try something new. I'm experimenting w/ this. :-) That's kind of where I'm at. I'm not looking to adopt anyone elses beliefs--but to explore the beliefs of others and figure out what works for me. I had a great conversation with my mom today about this, and it was a conversation where it seemed we were on the same page. Interesting....
1) It allows me to let go of a God of judgement, and therefore, allows me to let go of judging myself and/or these feelings of not measuring up in the eyes of Christianity because I'm not living my life God's way. So, to let go of that, takes a huge weight off my shoulders!
2) Without judgement and stipulations, I'm more inclined to have a stronger relationship w/ this God who provides "unconditional love". Step 2 is about admitting that I need God to restore my sanity, but Step 3 is actually about making the decision to turn it over to God as we know Him. I think up until last night's meeting, I gave up turning anything over to God.
Now, I'm seeing that I may need to reconsider; who would I rather have a relationship with--a God who's love is conditional and full of judgement and has a very narrow view or picture for conformity? Or, is it a God who not only knows and wants all of my desires, but One who loves unconditionally? The answer to that is EASY! I want the unconditional love and acceptance for just being me.
3) It makes me feel like I have "control" of my life after all. I think turning my life over to Christianity caused me to just "go w/ the flow" rather than "lead" because I felt I would be "led" where I was meant to go. So, thinking about my life in terms of it being what I make it--is empowering. I can believe God is within us--that would explain my strength at times I didn't think I had the strength, and that would explain the words when I didn't have the words and the wisdom when I didn't know. God within us also explains peace, love, kindness and joy because God is all of these.
Now, maybe I had something screwed up with my belief system before, or maybe that's exactly what I was taught, but whatever the reason, my beliefs in the past have not really worked for the betterment of my life and my well being. So, I"m willing to try something new. I'm experimenting w/ this. :-) That's kind of where I'm at. I'm not looking to adopt anyone elses beliefs--but to explore the beliefs of others and figure out what works for me. I had a great conversation with my mom today about this, and it was a conversation where it seemed we were on the same page. Interesting....
Taking Chances
There's a song I've loved for months now. I would think of last fall and P when I heard this song--because the words that jumped out to me were, don't know much about your life...your world...What do you say about taking chances...
Today I looked up the lyrics. These lyrics show a very vulnerable side.
The first time I read that, I thought, it was just about her not wanting to be alone, but, then after I thought about it, I realized if I put those lyrics into my relationship w/ him in the beginning, it wasn't like that and I was also vulnerable.
I don't know much about your world,
I don't know much about your life,
I don't know much about your past,
You don't know about much of my past
I don't know where my life is going
Even though my heart has been stomped on, it feels safe to slowly open my heart to you,
I"m enjoying our time together,
and I don't want to spend tonight without you.
Sometimes I find my mind wondering and wandering,
I want to know more and more about who you are.....
There are no guarantees in life--It's all about taking chances...
Today I looked up the lyrics. These lyrics show a very vulnerable side.
The first time I read that, I thought, it was just about her not wanting to be alone, but, then after I thought about it, I realized if I put those lyrics into my relationship w/ him in the beginning, it wasn't like that and I was also vulnerable.
I don't know much about your world,
I don't know much about your life,
I don't know much about your past,
You don't know about much of my past
I don't know where my life is going
Even though my heart has been stomped on, it feels safe to slowly open my heart to you,
I"m enjoying our time together,
and I don't want to spend tonight without you.
Sometimes I find my mind wondering and wandering,
I want to know more and more about who you are.....
There are no guarantees in life--It's all about taking chances...
So, P--you think of me w/ "If Everyone Cared" lyrics, I think of you with this song. :-)
"Taking Chances"
"Taking Chances"
Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.
You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,
But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.
You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,
But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world
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