We are all different

Last night I was writing my Serenity post and recieved a phonecall. It was from P. He was wondering about something I said about "humoring him". He said that was bothering him and wanted to know if there was anything else I was doing just to humor him. It was something really basic like doing the dishes immediately after dirtying them. I typically wouldn't do that, but because I was a guest at his house, I did things the way he did them. Why? Because, #1. I was a guest and #2. because I know it is important for him to be clutter free and organized.

My question on this topic is this: Is this a sign of codependency? Maybe not in itself, but as I think of more topics, maybe... Furthermore, since I have been home I've tried to do MY dishes as I dirtied them because I had gotten accustomed to this little bit of organization. Am I doing this because I like it, or am I doing this because it's important to him--and I might want to spend more time with him in the future and I KNOW the way I leave my dishes would make him crazy?

TOPIC 2
I told him I had tried some new recipies but they didn't turn out exactly as they were supposed to. But, they still turned out ok. He asked if I followed the recipe. I explained a couple things that I had done differently and felt like he was irritated with my inability to follow the recipe exactly.

I got off the phone with a feeling that was not as serene as before that conversation. Why can he not embrace that I do things differently? Why was he irritated by this? More importantly, why do I care? I was cooking for MY benefit, not his. I look at my "need" or "want" for acceptance and think about codependency.

Al-Anon teaches the need to let go of control of the things I cannot change. I have no power over what he or anyone else thinks about certain things. I need to focus on doing what causes me to grow and feel good within myself and accept we are all different. For this lesson, I am grateful.